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How to Find God in the Darkness

How many times in your life have you struggled while living as a child of God

A struggle, as defined by Webster’s dictionary, is contending with an adversary or opposing force.

What do we, as believer’s consider to be our “opposing” force or struggle?  For many it would be Satan.  He attacks our marriages, our children, and our friendships.

His mission is to steal, kill, and destroy.  He also likes to create division, confusion, and disorder within our minds.

My struggle is with myself.

I have body dysmorphic disorder.  It is an illness in which you obsess about a flaw in your appearance.  In my case, it is my weight.

I have struggled with this for as long as I can remember. It also causes me to isolate myself for long periods of time.

When I first became a follower of Jesus, I thought there was no way He could make this better.

I struggled with thoughts such as, “How could Jesus love me and why would He even want to love me?”  I had hit the darkest part in my life.  Suicide seemed not only logical to me, but a relief to the way I was living.

Every day I prayed for a release.  Every day I begged God for a ‘normal’ life and a ‘normal’ body.  Every day, despite what was going on around me, I felt empty, alone, and afraid.

It was in these dark moments of my life, where I found my secret place with God.  It was in the lonely hours of the nights that I could cry out to Him and be comforted.

One specific night I reading His word,  and I stumbled upon these verses:

As for me I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.  Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light. He will bring me out into the light; I will see His righteousness. (Micah 7:7-9 paraphrased) 

After researching these few verses, I found out that the people of Judah had failed and their enemies were laughing at them.  If we look within ourselves closely, we will find that our human desire is selfish and prideful; therefore, causing us daily to try to satisfy our own desires.  In the midst of my darkness, I wanted to be the one to control.

My control was over what I ate, what I wore, and what makeup to apply.  If I were going anywhere, I felt like my image had to be perfect.  If it wasn’t, I would make an excuse and never leave my house.

I had to surrender to Jesus.  I had to learn how to relinquish control.

I believe God gives us two aides to help us in our time of struggle.

  1. His word

  2. His Holy Spirit.

It was through His word where I heard Him speak so softly to my heart and in that moment I felt His spirit guide me.

During my rock bottom phase, I had two options: wallow in the darkness of self-pity or repent my need to control and surrender to Jesus.

Our eternal Father does not want us to sink without the hope of being rescued.

While I still struggle with body dysmorphic disorder I have found freedom through Christ.

He’s helped me make wiser choices mentally and physically. I now do my part by focusing on healthy eating habits and exercising every day.

Spiritually, I surrender my disorder to God daily and He supplies me with hope, strength, and joy to get through the day.

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Do you struggle secretly with something that feels so heavy that you feel like giving up?

I find myself there sometimes and then God sends me a life line. Maybe this post was your lifeline. If so, I want to pray with you.

Simply leave you prayer need or just your name in the comments below. If you can, please pray for someone as well.

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My life is truly a struggle but you’d never know it because I am rejoicing in The Lord always. I struggle with overwhelming sadness, defeat and insecurities. The devil is always on my back trying to get me to give up, but God… But GOD y’all!!! He is always in my face like a football coach pushing and pressing me to live a greater life than I deserve. He is constantly calling me to more than I am capable of without Him. And despite my shortcomings, He takes all of my weakness and uses it to make Himself look good.

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Free Christian Ebooks

  Head over to BookBub and check out the FREE books. You can find the books shown above in the religious section. You can download these books through Amazon kindle, B&N nook, Google Play and many other e-book readers. 1. Go here. 2. Now enter your email address and create a password.  2. Then check off the genres that interest you most. 3. Now in the “Categories” column on the left, scroll down to “FREE Ebooks“    They also have some really great books for $0 .99-$1.99. BE SURE TO CHECK BACK EVERYDAY BOOKS GO EXTREMELY FAST.   LOOKING FOR OTHER

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Rocks My World Tees

I can’t even put into words how excited I get about marriage when I see you all sharing my marriage quotes with your spouses on Facebook. It takes courage to publicly display how much you love your spouse but you guys seem to be full of courage when it comes to telling the world how much you love one another. I look for ways to help us celebrate biblical marriage on social media via the APW Facebook community and in our personal lives which is what spark the idea for the latest APW “Still Rocks My World” designs. I created styles for

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eggs

It’s so important for Germaine and I to be prudent with our finances. One of the ways we do that is by seeking out resources to help us save money. Here are a few that we found today. Some we shared here on A Proverbs Wife and others on our second blog Aprons And Stilletos. Just click on the links to the ones that interest you. Free Christian Ebooks from Janette Oke, Virginia Smith and MORE!! Free ebook: Dave Ramsey’s Complete Guide to Money FREE 2-lb container of Osmocote Plus Plant $114 in Enfamil coupons, infant milk and more Free

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4 items to always buy from Goodwill

I’ve been to the Goodwill twice this week and got my hands on some really nice things which I shared some sneak peeks of on Instagram and then in detail on my other blog Aprons and Stilletos.  When shopping at the Goodwill I always go with an open mind because I never know what I’ll find. I also go with an idea of items I want and need for my home and get very excited when I spot something that will fit the bill. This week I was especially looking for items in four specific categories. With the change of season having just occurred, many people are, like myself,

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http://books.noisetrade.com/ramsey/complete-guide-to-money

Here’s a free downloadable copy of Dave Ramsey’s Complete Guide to Money ebook.

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Free Thriving Family Magazine

Focus on the Family is offering a FREE Thriving Family Magazine Subscription. Thriving Family™ — is a fresh marriage and parenting magazine designed to help families thrive and meet the needs of Christian families today! Each issue is filled with relevant, valuable and biblically-sound information focused not only on enhancing the parenting journey but also on enriching marriages.  Click the following link to get your FREE Thriving Family Magazine Subscription. To see what else’s you can get for FREE today, check out the Free Stuff category.

Build Your Man Up

Do you find it difficult to find the good in your husband? Does he no longer resemble that awesome man you once loved so deeply? I can recall very clearly a time when Germaine and I were drifting apart. Some of it had to do with us being a young family with four children and lots of responsibilities. However, some of it had to do with us as individuals and how we communicated with one another. The Bible tells us that “life and death are in the power of the tongue” and what that simply means is that you can

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Free Christian Ebooks

  Head over to BookBub and check out the FREE books. You can find the books shown above in the religious section. You can download these books through Amazon kindle, B&N nook, Google Play and many other e-book readers. 1. Go here. 2. Now enter your email address and create a password.  2. Then check off the genres that interest you most. 3. Now in the “Categories” column on the left, scroll down to “FREE Ebooks” (see below) They also have some really great books for $0 .99-$1.99. BE SURE TO CHECK BACK EVERYDAY BOOKS GO EXTREMELY FAST.   LOOKING FOR

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March Bible Reading Plan

Tomorrow is the start of  a new month and what better time to commit to reading your Bible daily? No matter what season of life you are in I want to help you be able to read at least one Bible verse a day. If you are too busy to read your Bible, you are far busier than God ever intended (Tweet This) The easiest way to build the habit of reading your Bible daily is to start small. Reading one verse per day is a great way to get in the word daily but in a way that won’t

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Fab-2

Right now you can get a complete kids outfit for $15 plus FREE SHIPPING from FabKids.com. Buying clothes for the family is inevitable but I refuse to break the bank trying to keep my kids dressed neatly. If you have school aged kids here’s a  deal for you.   This is a great deal at less than $8 per piece for a boy or girl outfit!!  

Target Haul APW

I hope you’re having a wonderful weekend. I did my grocery and coupon shopping earlier this week and shared the scenario over on my other blog www.ApronsAndStilletos.com. This week you can get some great savings on Renuzit air fresheners and Angel Soft paper products. Be sure to cheek out these simple coupon scenarios over on my other blog. If you have questions be sure to ask them over on the scenario post. If you want to learn more ways you can actually cut your grocery bill in half be sure to check out my tutorial.

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Today you can get Found: God’s Will (John MacArthur Study) by John Macarthur for FREE if you hurry!! Click here to get Found God’s Will for FREE!! Keep in mind that this is FREE for a limited time only so grab them ASAP!! If you don’t have a Kindle, you can still take advantage of this FREE books by downloading the FREE Kindle Reading Apps for your iPhone, Windows PC, Mac, Blackberry, iPad & Android. For more Christian ebooks visit the bestsellers list or the FREE Christian ebooks list.

6 Things a Wife Should Never Do

If there’s anything I’m good at besides being a wife it’s speaking my mind. If I’m asked for my thoughts I’m going to give them. Shoot, I’ll even give my $0.02 sometimes when I’m not asked. But the beauty of having this blog is that I get to freely dish out healthy doses of unsolicited advice about marriage. As you may know, I’ve been married to my sweet and wonderful husband going on 13 years and if I had it to do all over again I’d do it in a heart beat. Our marriage is just that amazing to me.

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Today you can get How the Gospel Brings Us All the Way Home by Derek W.H. Thomas for FREE if you hurry!! Click here to get How the Gospel Brings Us All the Way Home for FREE!! Keep in mind that this is FREE for a limited time only so grab them ASAP!! If you don’t have a Kindle, you can still take advantage of this FREE books by downloading the FREE Kindle Reading Apps for your iPhone, Windows PC, Mac, Blackberry, iPad & Android. For more Christian ebooks visit the bestsellers list or the FREE Christian ebooks list.

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Today you can get A Woman of Substance by Lilliet Garrison for FREE if you hurry!! Click here to get A Woman of Substance for FREE!! Keep in mind that this is FREE for a limited time only so grab them ASAP!! If you don’t have a Kindle, you can still take advantage of this FREE books by downloading the FREE Kindle Reading Apps for your iPhone, Windows PC, Mac, Blackberry, iPad & Android. For more Christian ebooks visit the bestsellers list or the FREE Christian ebooks list.

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Today you can get A Call to Prayer by J.C. Ryle (FREE One-Week Devotional) for FREE if you hurry!! Click here to get A Call to Prayer for FREE!! Keep in mind that this is FREE for a limited time only so grab them ASAP!! If you don’t have a Kindle, you can still take advantage of this FREE books by downloading the FREE Kindle Reading Apps for your iPhone, Windows PC, Mac, Blackberry, iPad & Android. For more Christian ebooks visit the bestsellers list or the FREE Christian ebooks list.

30-Days-of-Soul-Stirring-Prayers-for-Wives-and-Moms

If you receive the weekly exclusive edition of my newsletter then you already know that last week was rough mentally and spiritually. I won’t talk about it again since many of you already read about it, but I will say that prayer is a powerful thing. It will bring you clarity, answers and resolution if you allow God to work in you. I personally like to pray God’s word in a way that makes sense to even a child. I don’t get all preachy and use magnificent words. I just speak Gods words back to him in everyday language. This

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Whenever I learn about a resource that can help the community earn a little extra money, gift cards or FREE products from home I share it here on he blog and n my social media accounts. It’s been a while since I’ve used this resource but recently found out Springboard America is looking for 294 females willing to participate in paid a grocery shopping panel. 1. Go here and fill out the top portion of the screener, then scroll to the bottom and answer the grocery shopper questions. 2. If you match the panel pool, you will receive an email

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