A Servants Rantings

Who do you think Paul is, anyway? Or Apollos, for that matter? Servants, both of us—servants who waited on you as you gradually learned to entrust your lives to our mutual Master. We each carried out our servant assignment. I planted the seed, Apollos watered the plants, but God made you grow. It’s not the one who plants or the one who waters who is at the center of this process but God, who makes things grow. Planting and watering are menial servant jobs at minimum wages. What makes them worth doing is the God we are serving. You happen to be God’s field in which we are working. 1 corinthians 3:5-9 (The Message)

I’ve recently open my home to my brother, his girlfriend and their daughter. Initially I was against it being that they were not Christian. What I mean by that is that either one or both of them regularly use profanity, smoke ciggarettes, don’t believe in God or the Bible and drink alcohol more than I prefer.

They had become homeless and were living with his girlfriends mother. The mother would no longer allow him to stay. And knowing the struggles of his childhood…which influenced him in making some irresponsible decisions…my husband and I decided to have them move here with us.

Around week two my husband got them both jobs. It’s only part-time but it’s a start. When they got here we discussed thier obligations to the family unit…which were, church attendance is a must, no profanity, no somoking in the house, clean up downstairs area of the house…which consists of the bedroom and bathroom that they solely use, vaccum the den and sweep and mop the laundry room once a week.

Since they’ve been using our downstairs they leave soiled pampers on the bedroom and bathroom floor, empty soda bottles, pizza boxes and dirty dishes on the shelves downstairs. I mean a real pigsty.

Remeber I told you that my husband got them jobs…well my brother worked from 5pm until 9pm Friday and Saturday and refused to get up for church on Sunday. He said that he was to tired. If wasn’t saved I would have cussed right about NOW. That following Tuesday I sat them both down and reminded them both that they had agreed that in order to stay here one of the stipulations was to attend church.

Listen ya’ll it’s bad enough that I have them living here unmarried (fornicating) and unbelieving…and I’m not about to allow them to continue to do so in ignorance. Living here they are going to learn the truth. Whether they accept it or not is up to them. He had the audacity to turn around and say “I don’t believe what you believe and I don’t feel like going to church”, and “Why are you forcing your religion on me?” …Excuse me? Forcing…The first thing I thought was you are free to leave anytime you choose. By this time my blood was begining to boil.

I calmed myself down. And simply stated that going to church is not an option. I also notified him that what my children are exposed to is non-negoitiable. I told him that my children will see that we have allowed two unbelievers to live with us (which I now beleive was a mistake) but that we did share the Gospel and forgiveness of Christ with them. And that we told them about the love of God. They will know that even though we accept people we do not condone sin.

I am so regretting this decision. I really hope that through us God can plant a seed of change in their lives.


  1. Milehimama says

    I am new to your blog, but I wanted to comment on this. I’ve been in both positions – opening my home to unChristian family members, as well as being the live in girlfriend before finding Christ.
    My question is, why are they sharing a room/bed? You can open your home to them, but that doesn’t mean one can’t sleep on the couch, or something.
    I know you are frustrated, but please consider that they may honestly not know any better or know HOW to have their life any other way. If they’ve never lived in a clean home and been taught how to keep it that way, if they have never had to show up for a job consistently, it’s really hard when you start out.

    God bless you for loving your brother with a Christ-like love.



  2. Nina says

    Well it’s good to hear about their attitude after church. I was ready to comment that while I definitely agree with the other house rules, maybe making their stay there conditional upon attending church might do more harm
    to their spiritual lives than good, simply because people tend not to embrace what if “forced” on them. But I totally understand your position, and maybe you’re right — get them in church and let the Holy Spirit do the rest. Of course, we know the Holy Spirit can and does convict everywhere, not just church.


  3. Country Girl At Heart says

    Hey Lawanda thanks for stopping by. They are attending church… against their will. And you know what…they are more cheery on Sunday’s after attending church.


  4. Lawanda says

    Well, I think it is wonderful that you opened your heart and home to them. But I definitely agree that they follow your rules, or they should leave.

    They may follow them grudgingly, but perhaps they will learn something along the way.

    Are they going to church with you so far?


  5. Country Girl At Heart says

    Thanks for your comments. I wish I were as patient as God.

    I have suggested that his girlfriend work part-time (4hours a day 4 days a week) until they get on their feet financially. And then begin to focus more on caring for of thier family. The reason she needs to work for now is that my husband is supporting our family of six plus their family of three on one income.

    My brothers response to the suggestion was that she will work full time…two jobs if necessary. And also added that the women staying at home are my families rules and that his family doesn’t have to follow them.

    I listen to him speak and hear a hurting person. I hope that he will open his heart to the saving grace of the Lord.


  6. Anonymous says

    I also just thought of something, kind of a suggestion, really. Could your brother’s girlfriend stay at home with you, looking after the baby, helping around the house & so forth? She could “shadow” you, learn from you, & observe a good, mature relationship (you & your husband). Perhaps this could be a model for her & your brother, & even lead to their marriage?



  7. Becky says

    Don’t be discouraged! I try to remember when I am frustrated like this how frustrated God must have been while waiting on me. I went from being a child of God, to being a witch (yes really!), before coming back to Jesus again. He waits patiently for all of us and even if they don’t show it, I am sure you are a shining example to them.

    I’ll be praying for you guys!


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