Can I Be Sexy and Still be Christian?

The issue of modesty affects not only our young women but also us as adult women. We want to feel attractive / sexy but are we being pressured into the idea of what society portrays as sexy?

Must we be naked to be sexy? Must every curve and bump on our bodies be so well defined that nothing is left up to the imagination?

I want to redefine what attractive is for my daughters and for all of the daughters and women who look to me as a role model. At the same time I want to define what attractive is for my sons because what I wear will directly impact the type of women they choose for their future wives.

I have gotten a lot of feedback on this topic so I have decided to delve a little deeper into to the source of such a prevalent level of immodesty in our society.

First we must address the problem that begins with ourselves. We must determine what we consider to be attractive. Once determined we must figure out if it is sexy or immodest or is it attractive and modest. Let’s look at what each word means.

Sexy: concerned predominantly or excessively with sex; sexually interesting or exciting; radiating sexuality; excitingly appealing (origin 1920’s)

Immodest: Not properly restrained in expression or self-assertion (origin 1850’s)

Attractive: providing pleasure or delight, especially in appearance or manner; pleasing; charming; alluring; arousing interest or engaging one’s thought, consideration; having the quality of attracting (origin 1375)

Modest: having or showing regard for the decencies of behavior, speech and dress. Modest dress is unpretentious, unobtrusive, pure, virtuous and demure. Modesty expresses distaste for anything coarse or loud. Modesty implies a quiet simplicity of dress. (origin 1555)

When I read the definitions for “sexy” I knew immediately that this was not my goal. I knew that sex was not what I wanting to attract from my husband (I don’t need clothes to attract that from him). What I want to attract is everything listed under the definitions for modest and attractive. What I want is for him to find me pleasurable, a delight in appearance, interesting and pure.

After studying these four definitions I’ve decide that I want to be attractive and modest. The descriptions given for modesty and attractiveness stir my core desire as a wife, mother, sister, aunt, daughter, friend and role model. These very descriptions are the ones that I want to instill my children. If I choose to dress sexy I am undermining Gods principles by placing a stumbling block in the path of both Believers by planting a seed of sexual immorality in minds. I am also giving my daughters a sub-par example of how to attract a husband.

So the question is, “Can I be sexy and still be Christian?” My answer is, “I can’t”. What about you?

5 comments

  1. Happy in the Home says:

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. I left you a comment there too.

    I love what you had to say here. You are right, Christian women have no ‘right’ to look sexy for anyone but there husbands. Period.

    I do think a Christian woman can be beautiful though. I don’t think it comes from flawless skin and shiney hair, but more from her contenance. I think there is nothing more beautiful than a woman who has a combination of joy and reverence.

    I know a lady who is in her 70s and is absolutely lovely. I always thought there was some great beauty about her, but you know what, she is really very ordinary, though I can’t recall if she even has any wrinkles. She just has such a radiance about her that comes from the Lord.

    I want what she has.

    It is nice to ‘meet’ you. Seems like we have a lot in common!
    ~Stella

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  2. Laura @ Laura Williams' Musings says:

    This is a wonderful post! I am a Christian who dresses modestly. Modesty doesn’t mean “dowdy”. I wear items my husband finds attractive on me but at the same time, I don’t wear things to attract attention to myself from other men.

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  3. Country Girl At Heart says:

    I think that this ia a very important topic. It’s also a topic that both mothers and daughters alike seem to struggle with. I know I certainly have. Maybe, by posted about my experince I can get women thinking more about what they will choose to wear.

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