Do not provoke your children to anger

I don’t esteem myself as being some unique individual because I homeschool. I homeschool because I love having my children around me. I enjoy being a part of their lives. I love experiencing precious moments in their lives as they grow, discover and mature.

While at the gym my fitness instructor Kasey, asked me about my daughter, who normally works out with me on Monday’s. Kacey wanted know where she was and I replied “My children are with their Grandparents until Thanksgiving”.

Another lady asked if my children’s school had let out for the Thanksgiving holiday. I respond “Oh no, I homeschool my children and our last school day was Friday”. Her eyes lit up as she responded “Wow”, then she replied “I couldn’t do that”. I told her “sure you could”. Others begin chiming in about how they could not tolerate their children being home with them all the time, and commented about how they would go nuts. They explained how they would have their children dressed and at the bus stop after two days of homeschooling.

I felt somewhat uncomfortable with their responses although I am beginning to get accustomed to mothers looking at motherhood from that perspective. They take on a perspective of “let someone else deal with my child all day”.

When a mother says that she can’t be around her children because of their behavior that sets off an alarm for me. Where do they think that their children are learning the behavior? I would also venture to say that If a child is a handful for it’s own parent, just imagine how much more for the teacher.

My oldest daughter is one of my best friends. I am her confidant and her mentor. My youngest daughter is my biggest fan. My sons adore me and I them. All of my children try their best to be respectful and honest. My children cause trouble around the house just like everyone else’s, but my children also understand that there are boundaries. I teach my children about respecting noise levels, and respecting our home and the things that are in it. I teach them about the cooperative structure of the family and explain to them that sometimes their childishness gives mom a headache. I talk to them about quiet time and show them the benefits of it. For example I point out to them how relaxed mom is after quiet time, or how brother and sister play together with less arguments after an our or so time spent apart resting.

Having my children home with has allowed me to get to connect with each of them on an individual level. I am able to help them address their needs and to help guide them in how to make productive decisions. Having my children home has been one of the best decisions that I have ever made. I am enjoying my children in a way that is irreplaceable and priceless.

I would never speak negatively about my children in public. If I feel that my children are a handful I would discuss it with my husband so that we could see where the problem lies. I also believe that mothers have become so casual in their public conversations. Public settings should never be used as a place to air dirty laundry about your husband, children or family. Before I speak about my family I ask myself “Would I say this if the person were here?” or “How would I feel If my children or husband were saying something similar it about me?”

These are the opinions of A Country Girl at Heart. All pictures can be viewed and purcahsed at


  1. Country Girl At Heart says

    I am so glad to read all of your comments. I truly believe that we have found a very rare treasure that many women today do not possess, which is the joy involved with raising our children.

    Thank you all for commenting.


  2. Becky says

    It hurts my heart when mothers say those kinds of things. I have had to learn to watch my own tongue as well many times when speaking about my family. While I do think it’s important to have a good friend to vent to, saying those kinds of things in public is a big no-no for me too!


  3. As We Sail... says

    I enjoyed the few years I home schooled my daughter. And I think it saved her from picking up a lot of bad attitude. She is still a joy to be with as an adult.


  4. Milehimama says

    Many of these women don’t know anything different. The first generation of Latch Key kids has grown up and is having children. The “experts” claim that saying NO to a child will damage their self esteem. Parents are not taught how to discipline – the discipline they received themselves was hit or miss.

    And usually, if my kids were like their kids (the daycare/30 children in a room model of discipline) I wouldn’t want to be around them all day either! Most mothers, however, don’t know that they can change that or HOW to change that.

    Titus 2 is so very important!


  5. Elizabeth says

    Perhaps many moms do not know how to enjoy their children. I see a lot of women struggle because they don’t know how to discipline their children or order their households or manage their own emotions or do any of the other things that make for a happy household. And, they have been taught that their highest good is in being free to do exactly what they want to do, rather than in serving. I’m not saying that I have a perfect handle on all of those things, myself. But, I do think that some women aren’t as happy taking care of their homes or raising children as they might be, simply because so many today just don’t know how to do it in a way that yields peace and joy, rather than becomes burdensome.


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