When my husband and I were married we both lacked a debt free mindset. We compiled all of our crazy beliefs about money and began making very detrimental financial decisions…ones that we are finally getting sorted out 7 years after matrimony.
We don’t have it all together but at least now we are on the same page and are working as a team.
I AM AFRAID
It scared me to think that if my husband were to die while we were in debt that I would struggle financially to achieve our goals. Goals such as the children’s education, paying the mortgage and handling monthly bills. I feared having to go back to work while the children were still young and dependant upon me.
I was also afraid that if my husband were to become unemployed or disabled for more than a month, that our lives and lifestyle would change drastically. The list of fears goes on and on…
I did something very important with those fears.
First, I admitted to God that I was afraid. I asked God if He had forsaken us or intended for us to struggle like this? I told God that I was tired of trying to fix my husband and no longer wanted to blame him for our troubles. After prayerfully seeking forgiveness and surrendering to God’s will, He began to show me how I had not trusted HIM or my Husband. From that point I stopped worshipping the idea that my husband would always be able to provide, and I put my trust in the Lord.
Next, I admitted to my husband how afraid I was. I told him how I was losing sleep and peace of mind over our finances. I explained to him in a non-threatening or accusatory way that I was afraid and why I was afraid.
I apologized for blaming him. Through prayer I began to fight against the resentful thoughts towards him. I stopped telling myself how incompetent he was. Instead criticising him and comment on his bad financial decisions, I began to encourage him with Gods word. Finally, I told him that I trust in him and that I believe in him.
Once we mended our own internal issued with each other, we sought the help of outsiders. We finally decided to invest in Dave Ramsey’s services and advice. Do we still have debts and shortfalls…sure we do. But we no longer fear the financial storms of life, because we are assured that God has a plan for our good.