Proverbs 14:1

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.

One of the lessons that I have learned over the course of my marriage is that “A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.” Proverbs 27:15-16. I have come to understand that some (many) of the problems that I encountered in my marriage were because of ME.

That’s not to say that my husband was Mr. Perfect but this post is not about fixing the husband, but about sanctifying the wife. One of the fastest ways to mend a marriage is by learning self control. If we would learn to control our thoughts, our words and our actions than we could begin to see how truly blessed we actually are.

I am a firm believer that our actions are a direct result of our thoughts. If we are thinking negatively about our husbands, children or anyone than this will be reflected in the conversations about them. Before long we will begin to demonstrate negative behavior toward them.

Some will say that the receiver deserves the treatment that you are dishing out. Nevertheless, God desires for you to have peace. God can grant a peace that surpasses all understanding. Peace is a biblical Fruit of the Spirit and a demonstrative characteristic of love, but in order to have peace we must work on our inside.

If you could stop doing one thing today let it be thinking negatively about your spouse and children. You must work to bring every thought into captivity. We are all offended by our loved ones at times but what we must remember is that before we condemn someone we must remember the grace in which we have been granted. Instead of meditating on the negative, think and say things that build up. Here is a big one that I hear many women complain about.

Husbands who foul up the finances. If your husband fouls up the finances, encourage him to trust God for direction. If you are hurt and cannot bring yourself to say encouraging words to your husband, begin by talking to God and asking him to give you Holy thoughts regarding your situation. Learn to keep quiet until you are ready to allow God remove your past hurts and disappointments. Pray diligently for God to change your heart.

Finally, if you trust that God will provide than your husband really can’t do anything to foul up Gods provision for you. Learn to build up your homes by allowing God to guide your thoughts.


  1. DeNiece Barnes says

    Hadias you are absoulaty right about every single word that you said. I love reading your blog because you are so inspiring. Have a blessed week


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