If you’ve ever read my About Me page you’ll get a glimpse of why I started this blog. One of the main reasons is that it works as a sort of accountability partner. The things that I share here give me an ongoing documentation of where my priorities are.
What I have noticed lately is that I spend a lot of time online and a lot less time interacting with my family. I don’t work outside of the home because I truly believe that the time I spend or don’t spend with my family is irreplaceable. I am reserved to the fact that I want to spend my days being my children’s mother and my husbands wife. It’s a vocation I am happy with and if I had it to do all over again I would do it just the same.
However, in the process of doing the things I love such as saving money and blogging about Christian living, opportunities to earn income have materialized. When I started being approached about freelance opportunities my husband and I diligently prayed for direction on whether or not I should pursue them. We have cautiously sought God with every new opportunity.
I was hesitant when opportunities started presenting themselves, but I was also so glad to be blessed with an outlet to earn money. I would still be able to earn money yet remain at home making my family my main priority. We’ll when you become self employed there are lots of behind the scene issues that come into play. I had already been managing my husbands company, but now I had record keeping, marketing and secretarial duties for another business.
We’ll the dilemma multiplied when I began to recognize that although I was physically at home, I was not mentally at home.
I was feeling something inside me was out of whack for a few weeks, but couldn’t quite put my finger on what the problem was. It wasn’t until a few nights ago when I fell on my face before the Lord asking HIM to reveal the source of my discontent.
He showed me that even though I had not outwardly neglected my family according to their standards, but inwardly I was frustrated with them. The frustration was due to pressure of having to balance the needs of my family with the needs of my business.
After praying I came away with answers. I realized that I had taken control of the situation–which means I wrecked everything as always. I also realized that God has a perfect plan for balance. He gave it to the women of the Bible and He will give it to me.
So for now I am under the tutelage of the Holy Spirit learning how to successfully pull off being a Proverbs 31:12 women — A women able to earn a living using her gifts and talents and yet still be the wife that doesn’t become frustrated with her husband or children when their needs interrupt her work.