Becoming A Wife That Submits To Her Husband

How do I become a wife who is able to submit to my husband?

A woman who chooses a lifestyle of continued reverence and submission towards her husband, is a women who understands the powerful impact of her role in the family. Whenever I see a wife who shows contempt or disrespect for her husband, what I really see is a woman who believes that she is powerless.

Do you try to change your husband with arguing and rebellion? A women who wants to change her husband will first change herself. Below I have listed four key challenges for you. If followed they will move you closer to becoming a wife that reveres her husband.

1. Pray daily that you would speak and think positively about his character and behavior.

In order to treat your spouse differently, you will have to think differently about him. Your husband will know your thoughts toward him whether you verbally express them or not.

Proverbs 23:6-8Eat thou not the bread of him that hath an evil eye, neither desire thou his dainty meats: For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.The morsel which thou hast eaten shalt thou vomit up, and lose thy sweet words.

2. Overlook his faults.

This does not pertain to sin. Overlook the fact that he leaves his work clothes on the floor or that he does not replace the toilet paper when he uses the last of the roll. Don’t let the small things irritate you. Satan knows what bothers you and he will use anyone (especially those closest to you) to separate you from the peace of God. You’ll find some further reading in the scripture reference below.

3. Take on a child-like mentality.

What worked for me in teaching myself to speak respectfully to my husband was thinking of him as my father. Whenever I would prepare to speak to my husband I would ask myself the question,”Would I speak to my father this way?” The question can be replaced with anyone whom you respect. We should not speak to anyone better than the way in which we speak to our own spouse.

Colossians 4:5 Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

4. Learn patience and self control.

This was and is one of the hardest Fruit of the Spirit for me to maintain. I must pray daily for the ability to be patient and temperate. I can see my self become easily agitated and hostile on the days that I don’t pray the will of God over my flesh. Another word for patience is long-suffering. This area is where I’ve grown ever more closer to God. I can see His power working in me to be a patient and temperate wife in my interactions with my husband.

Ecclesiastes 7:7-9 Surely oppression maketh a wise man mad; and a gift destroyeth the heart. Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.

1 Thessalonians 5:13-15…Be at peace among yourselves. Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men. See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men.

You are not alone in your desire to honor God and your husband. When we follow Gods perfect plan for our marriages we are opening the door for a home and lives to be filled with peace and respect.

11 comments

  1. Michelle says:

    let the chip fall God did not tell you to lead WHEN THE CHIPS FALL or run out he will wake up trust God your husband has to ansewer to HIm Go to school and get a house keeper part time to keep the sanity never under estamate The Lord also a pedicure is always nice keep your head up 17 blessed years married my husband has not picked up the video console in a long time

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  2. Karen says:

    I have been married 34 years in May. This is very good advice. Did I follow it early on in my marriage? No. I had a husband who would not lead but looking back, I was a wife who would not follow. Like you wrote submission is not letting a man dictate your life, rather it is allowing him to become the man God wants him to be. It’s only in the past couple of years I have tried to be a submissive wife. It took a while, but my husband stepped up to the plate and is leading our family. Life is better. Is it always my way or the way I would like it to go? No, but it’s the right way that God has planned.

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  3. Steph says:

    While I agree that things like patience are virtues, there is no way that this can be taken seriously!

    I respect my husband, but if there was something going wrong in our relationship, I would tell him. Staying silent is not the answer and it can lead to trouble down the road. Bless your heart for writing this, but it’s just horrible advice!

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  4. Tabi J says:

    What about in cases in which you are trying to submit to your husband, but it feels that you are doing EVERYTHING because your husband is being LAZY? In my case, I am going to school full time (and looking for a part time job to help with expenses), trying my best to take care of my home, while my husband sleeps, play video games, or watch TV and NOT help me out.

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  5. Lisa says:

    Beautiful post! Thank you so much! I just wish I would have known all of this when I was younger and first married. We need to raise our daughters with this Biblical mindset, not society’s, which has led this nation into the sewer it is in. I pray everyday for the strength to be a submissive wife and follow His will for a good and holy marriage. I also thank Him everyday that it wasn’t too late for our relationship and our family! Merry Christmas! :-)

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    The Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Lisa,

    What a blessing for you to have caught hold of the Biblical principle of submission. I’m so glad I have too. I’d have loved to have known what I know now when I first married my husband, but I’m so glad that God had grace and patience with me as I grew in His word. Continue to be an example through your life for other women who come behind you. We will see more women serving God as we continue to set an example for the women around us.

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  6. daniela says:

    I love it!!!! Lord help me to walk in love weather I feel it or not. Help me to submit to YOU and to “die” to myself daily I know that the rest it will be easy.

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    The Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @daniela,

    You got it!! Be sold out to God and the rest WILL be easy.

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  7. Sherice says:

    I love this post. I remember when I first got married, all of my friends were buggin’ me about how many times the word “submit” was uttered in our wedding vows. I admit that the word is almost a curse word to modern women, but I replied to them with something a wise woman once told me, “who wouldn’t submit to love?” And when I tell them that they always shut down…

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    The Proverbs Wife Reply:

    I love your comment Sherice. When you love your husband like you “say you do” it seems to me that the submission part should be a natural extension of that love. It is not easy to submit especially when we may not agree, but when you LOVE like the bible says we learn to humility and sacrifice. Some woman confuse submission with weakness but it really demonstrates strength. To be able to lay your will aside for the will of God to play out within your marriage takes courage, faith and strength.

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    Jessica Reply:

    “Who wouldn’t submit to love?” Awesome!!

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