Adultery is a topic that most people don’t want to talk about, but more people have dealt with it than you think. I am one of those people. My husband was unfaithful three years into our marriage and I was devastated. We almost divorced but eventually reconciled and just went on with our lives without resolving any issues. Then three years later, it happened again.
This time it was two separate incidents and it caused my husband to lose almost everything, career, friends, reputation and even his freedom. I didn’t know how I was supposed to go through all of the pain and heartache again. Then I remembered a church we had visited with a pastor that my husband and I both really liked. We hadn’t regularly attended church for quite some time and weren’t reading our Bibles at all. So I told my husband before we decided anything that we needed to go to the church and speak with the pastor. And we did. We went to counseling for several months and God used this pastor to completely change our marriage.
We didn’t know anything about Ephesians 5:22-33. And the scripture that really struck me was 1 Peter 3:1-2.
“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.”
After reading that scripture verse, I realized that I was a huge factor in my husband’s infidelity. I wasn’t being submissive to my husband or even respecting him most of the time. There were also other factors that I never even realized contributed to this sin. Pornography and even regular television and commercials played an enormous role in desensitizing my husband to eventually cross the line of unfaithfulness. Some of which were orchestrated by me. Once I understood the role I played in feeding my husband’s compulsions, I was more able to support him and be the helpmeet that God intended me to be.
Today my husband is well on his way to becoming a pastor and helping other men to understand the importance of keeping those influences out of their lives. Today we are happier than we have ever been in our marriage. We have put God first and actively work on our marriage every single day. I can finally completely trust my husband and completely believe that he loves me with all of his heart.
Jessica Bates is a wife and a stay at home mom to three wonderful children. She shares here journey to becoming the women God wants her to be, on her blog Random Streams of Semi-Consciousness.
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