Overcome Envy By Planting Your OWN Vineyard

Have you ever looked at someone else’s success and thought, “why not me?”.

If we are honest with ourselves, we’ve all thought those words or something like them before.

The root of those thoughts most often stem from envy.

Envy is simply desiring something that someone else possesses.

The reason I want to address this particular topic is because it is affecting the performance of a women I know and it could very well be the thing that is affecting your performance.

It could be affecting your performance as a wife, mother, blogger and many other areas of your life.

Let me tell you a little story.

I have a friend…let’s call her Mrs. Doubtfire for the sake of her privacy.

Mrs. Doubtfire is a bloggers and she has a desire to be like and to have what other blogger have. This desire is causing her to doubt her abilities. She envies their subscriber numbers, blog design and opportunities. When she sees their successes it diminishes her sense of self worth.

The same holds true for her marriage. When she sees her best friends husband lavishing her with gifts, she wishes that her own husband were more generous. Mrs. Doubtfire’s love language is ‘gifts’ and she longs for her husband to do what her best friends husband does.  Her jealousy makes her bitter toward her husband.

Why am I telling you this?

I’m telling you because although it’s a story… the events can be true in any of our lives. There are women, who like Mrs. Doubtfire, wrestle with enviousness everyday.

I’m telling you because I don’t want any of you to waste another day wanting what someone else has or where they are in life. I don’t want you feeling inadequate because you’ve chosen to compare yourself to others.

The only time you should feel inadequate is when you are in favor with the Almighty God. Nothing that God does for us is what we deserve so when He blesses us despite who we are or what we’ve done, we should feel an overwhelming sense of reverence and humility.

The thing about this topic is that I can’t make you believe that you are just as good as the person you think has it all.

Nor can I convince you that the very same person you are covetous of has problems and issues just like you.

I really wanted to make this post about mommy bloggers simply because they are the ones admitting on message boards and in blog comments that they are jealous of ‘big bloggers’. They are the ones that are confessing how inadequate their blogs seem in comparison with larger blogs.

I really wanted to keep the focus there, but I won’t. I won’t because I know that wives envy other wives too. And moms envy other moms.

They look at all the perks they believe someone else has and it causes them to doubt their own abilities.

Which is why it’s so important for us to dive into all that Proverbs 31 is saying to us today. Instead of focusing on what others are cultivating in their lives we would do ourselves a ton of good to begin cultivating what God has given us.

Today Proverbs 31:16 is jumping out at me. If you’ve never read it, go read it now. If you’ve read it but have forgotten it…read it again. In the meantime, instead of focusing on what someone else has, I’m going to get to the business of planting my vineyard.


  1. says

    Amen! What God has for us is already in the works. When we stray from His guidance and start trying to go after what He has planned for other folks, we just delay our own blessings!


  2. Tracy P says

    When we envy others, we compare what we see as their success with what we see as our failure and we will come up short every time. Its like we’re throwing God’s blessings back in His face. I loved this post. Gonna go work on my vineyard now…


    The Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Tracy P, I like what you said about “throwing God’s blessings back in His face”. This couldn’t be more true. When we look at things from God’s perspective it is much easier to see how this is so. I appreciate your comment.


  3. says

    Are you preaching at me? ;o)

    I may not have the wife envy thing but I definitely struggle with blog envy! There are certain blogs that I cannot visit because I know it will cause me to stray from what God has called me to do. His plan for me is not like the plan He has for them.

    Thanks so much for this post!


    The Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Tabitha (Meet Penny),

    Continue to follow your rule about blogs that cause you to go astray from your calling. 🙂


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