I visited the blog of a young mom the other day who had been struggling with her children. She had taken them to a birthday party where one of the children had acted out. The mom left the party and arrived home embarrassed and angry.
She was embarrassed because she believed that her children were not “those children”. She explained that those children are the ones that acted out in public. She believed that she had a handle on her kids. Unfortunately for her, this was the day that her children would make her a liar.
Immediately upon arriving home, the mom sent the children to their room and she ended up in her bathroom. She had retreated to the bathroom, which she referred to as her quiet place, to make a video blog. The topic of the blog was “discipline” and she talked about how she had struggled to cope with her child acting out in public.
Nearing the end of the video I could tell that mom was overwhelmed and emotionally drained, but before signing off, she grabbed a bottle of wine from outside of the cameras viewing area, put it to her lips and took a long swig. After which she winced at the taste and ended the video.
Being a mom of four children ages 18, 11, 9 and 7, I think that I have a little bit of experience in raising children so I’d like to offer a little bit of unsolicited advice to this mom on what to do when your children usurp your authority.
1- Pray for a sound mind because to entire goal of a rebellious child is to get their way by throwing you off track. A rebellious child can cause any parent to cave under the pressure of their persistent and aggressive behavior. Whether the rebellious child is 8 or 18, you as a parent must hold your ground.
2- Regain control of the situation by any means necessary. Children should always know who is in control. And that is you! Regaining control means that you are leading the situation on the direction that you see fit whether getting the child to cooperate by choice of by force.
3- Spank when appropriate. Spanking for me is a last resort. I prefer to reason with my children but I do understand that sometimes their young undeveloped minds cannot always comprehend sound reason, but everyone understands a spanking.
4- Be patient with your children’s immaturity. Children are not adults therefore; they are still learning how to deal with challenges. It is our job to remain in control while teaching them a proper way to vent their frustrations. If you are out of control, do not be a hypocrite and expect them to control them selves. Lead by example.
5- Don’t stoop to their level. This is important to you holding on to control of the situation. If they are yelling, you should not be. If they are not yelling, you should not be. One thing I have learned is that yelling is not good for mom or the children. If you are a habitual yeller, your children will soon learn to tune you out. Yelling raises your blood pressure, which leads to stress, headaches not to mention a sore throat. When you are in control of yourself and the situation, you will be able to speak firmly and in a neutral tone of voice.