I just dropped my kids off at camp and already my heart yearns for the moment when I pull up in the carpool line and spot each and of them among a sea of other children. In a group of hundreds of children I know my children.
As a mom I used to think it weird the amount of attachment I felt toward my children. I often wondered why stereotypically it seemed as though moms would rather be away from their children as much as possible. I know a lot of it has to do with being overwhelmed and even more to do with kids ability to try a mothers’ patience. In spite of all that I just love having my kids around me.
Some of that has to do with the way I was raised. Being raised in a family where affection was not expressed physically, but through gifts left me with a strong desire not deprive my children of physical affection.
A need for physical affection is something that is ingrained in children it’s something that is necessary for us to feel love and acceptance.
Assuring my children that they are loved and accepted is a top priority in my role as mom. It’s something that I give much thought to. In a similar manner to how I’d study and manage my finances, create my home making schedule or weekly menu, I take even greater strides to know my children and plan ways to fulfill their individual need for love, affirmation and affection.
I love each of their personalities and the way each of them share themselves with me. From the stories they share about their days to the types of one on one activities they like to do when it’s just me and them.
I make loving them an important part of my day and the more I do it the more I want to do it. I also find that I get better attitudes and behavior from them as well. I don’t get perfect behavior, but I do get better better behavior. That works good for me since I don’t expect perfection.
Dr. Tim Kimmel says it best in his book Grace Based Parenting
…and don’t be surprised if you find yourself overwhelmed with the desire to offer acceptance, affiliation, and affection to your children on daily basis these are three gift that keeps on giving long after you are gone.
So not only does loving my children payoff now in better behavior, cheery attitudes and confident countenance, it will carry over into their adulthood as well.
Loving my kids won’t guarantee that they make all the right choices in life, but I am confident it will create a firm foundation in which they can depend on.
What are some things you are doing as a parent to ensure that your kids know they are loved?