A Proverbs Wife

Change Your Heart Not Your Spouse

Change Your Heart Not Your Spouse

Change Your Heart Not Your Spouse

Have you ever been so desperate for something to change in your marriage that you cry out to God, and most of your prayer sounds like this… “God, change my husband?”

I know I’ve been there and I want to encourage you today to work at changing your own heart instead of trying to change  your spouse.

The Bible speaks many times about the condition of our heart.

Proverbs 4:23  Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Proverbs tells us that we should guard our hearts, for it is the wellspring of life.

Well, what does that really mean?

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines a wellspring as a source of continual supply.

If we want to live our lives to the fullest, if we want a continual supply of life, we need to guard our hearts. Sometimes this doesn’t look like what we think it does though.

Sometimes it means allowing God to search our hearts and find the areas we aren’t being faithful to Him.

 Proverbs 139:23  Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts.

Have you ever wondered if maybe your heart needs a little work when you’re too busy focusing on your husband’s faults?

When did we stop allowing God to work in our own hearts and demanding He change someone else?

I’ve learned over the years, you cannot change anyone else. You can only change your attitude toward a situation.

I encourage you today to take some time if you’re in this place and pray and ask God to give you peace and to change your attitude toward your husband.

If you begin to see him the way God sees him, chances are you’ll begin to see the things you desire in him as well.

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8 thoughts on “Change Your Heart Not Your Spouse

  1. Good Article. I’m not married but I can see how this same thought prayer process can apply to other elationships including with co-workers, family members, and friends.


    The Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Chasing Joy, People waste too much time trying to change people. Like you said co-workers, family, etc. Everyone ends up frustrated.


  2. This was a good article. As one of the other readers commented, this article is good not just for husbands but for dealing with people in general.

    With our spouses we oftn pray for them and add changes we want God to make in their lives. Perhaps we should do as this article suggests and work on changing ourselves and let God deal with our husbands in His own time.


    The Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Janeane Davis,

    It’s true Janeane. People make a laundry list of what needs to change in others. Time is better spent on working to become the best you — you can be.


  3. In the early days, I did pray that my husband would find it in his heart recognize the things that he needed to change to make our marriage work AND be willing to step up to the plate and make those adjustments. For myself, I prayed for continued patience as he learned more about himself, more about me, and more about the ways in which we would go forward together as husband and wife.

    I am grateful that he did recognize his own need for growth and that he was willing to walk that path with me. 16 years later, we’re still going strong.


    The Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Kymberli aka JW Moxie,

    Congrats on 16 years of marriage. Long lasting marriages are a blessing in a society were couples through in the towel at the first sign of trouble.


  4. WOW! This is relevant, not just to husbands, but in general. If we are always finding the fault in others, maybe that says something about our hearts. Powerful post.


    The Proverbs Wife Reply:


    Umm….HELLO!! My motto for wives is this….your husband will become the man of your dreams when you become the women of his dreams. It’s more practical to work on oneself anyway. You are the only person you can change.


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