The #1 Thing to Look for in a Christian Husband | Plus Top 6 Character Traits

The #1 Thing To Look for in a Christian Husband | AProverbsWife.com

I’m going to get right to the point of this topic because it’s too important for me to waste time coming up with some catchy opening paragraph to get you reeled in.

You read the title of this post and apparently it sparked your interest. Since you’ve already clicked on the link leading to my site, I suppose you’d like to see the #1 thing to look for in a Christian husband right away.

Well here it is.

The number one thing Christian women should look for in a husband is that he’s a Christian. (Tweet This)

Here’s the kicker though. In order to know what to look for, we must know what a Christian looks like and the simplest way to know what a Christian looks like is to read the Bible.

The simplest way to know what a Christian looks like is to read the Bible. (Tweet This)

The Bible has pages upon pages full of Godly men.

Here are some of the more basic ones that you should be able to identify during the time you spend getting to know a guy before marriage.

1. He must be Faithful.

Is he a man who seeks God’s direction and follows it? He should be consistently consulting God on his present and future decisions. This will determine whether or not you’ll be able to trust his decisions concerning your marriage and children.

Hebrews 11:8-10 “By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out, not knowing whither he went. By faith he sojourned in the land of promise, as in a strange country, dwelling in tabernacles with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise: For he looked for a city which hath foundations, whose builder and maker is God.”

2. He must be Courageous.

He should be a man who is not willing to compromise his faith in God. How does he act when people mock God or dismiss the deity of God? Does he shirk back in fear of offending others by his faith in God? A Godly man is willing to walk and speak boldly regarding what he believes.

Joshua 24:15 “And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”

3. He must be Honest.

Does he ask you to cover (lie) for him? Does he lie to you or others?

Lying is a character trait that never leads to anything good. We see in the life of faithful Abraham that his lie brought a curse on King Abimilech (Genesis 12) and in the case of Ananias and his wife Sapphira, they both experienced an untimely death when they realized they’d been caught in a lie (Acts 5).

4. He must be Prayerful.

Is he a man who prays? Not just at meals but about all things? A mans prayer life is a direct reflection of their relationship with God. It demonstrates that he realizes the limitations of his humanness and the deity of God. This is going to be very important because in marriage when things get tough your husband will not be able to fix everything but God can. You must know that when neither of you can fix whats broken that your husband will turn to one who can fix all things.

Daniel 6:10 “Now when Daniel knew that the writing was signed, he went into his house; and his windows being open in his chamber toward Jerusalem, he kneeled upon his knees three times a day, and prayed, and gave thanks before his God, as he did aforetime”.

5. He must be Committed.

Does he stick with the things he committed to until they are finished? If he is not able to stick with the little things how then will he remain committed to a life long marriage commitment. Does he change friends, churches or jobs often? You want a man who will finish what he’s started and honor his commitments.

II Timothy 4:7 “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:”

6. He must be Compassionate.

How does he treat those who are weaker than him? Does he take advantage of them or show compassion? How he treats those who are weaker than him while you are dating is a peek into how he will treat you, his future wife.

Ephesians 5:7-8 “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous”.

Unmarried Christian women, I admonish you to use this list a guide to help give you an idea of the eternal characteristics to look for in a husband rather than just superficial things like financial status, looks and possessions.

If you are an unmarried women who’d like me to pray for you, leave your comment or prayer request below.

If you have a question about marriage, leave it below.

If you are a Christian wife married to an unsaved man and have questions or would like me to pray for you, leave your question or prayer request below.

Comments

  1. Elizabeth Ann says

    I am an unmarried woman trying to be patient and seeking discernment. Please pray for me. And pray that I become a godly woman worth marrying.

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  2. Carole Tidwell says

    I have been a widow now for 16 years. I would love for you to pray for me. Gods will is all I want. If that includes a new husband, then bring him on.

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  3. Michelle says

    I am a single mom of two boys. I haven’t dated in 7 years. Praying for a Godly man, to whom I can be the helper along his side.

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  4. Lisha says

    I ask that you pray for me. I am in a long distance relationship and we are not married. But we talk about it all the time. Now him and I are christian’s. And I been having some doubt’s about thing’s due to he is 39 and I am 23 and he has 5 kids a little close to my age. Now I know love has no number and it shouldn’t matter.I pray a lot about our relationship and thing’s are going good for us but I do worry about how his family will treat me due to my age and I have one kid. Now being the person that I am family is important even though I am not as close to my family like he is with family. And I always make it a point that we put the kids first before we step any further. But I don’t want us to forget about us and that we can build a great foundation in our relationship if we do take it any further.

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  5. Jenna says

    Hello! What hope and inspiration I have found here, thank you, ladies! My husband and I married when neither of us followed Christ. During a separation that nearly ended in divorce, I renewed my faith and have been following The Lord since. My husband believes in God and has accepted Jesus, but still wants a ‘limit’ on his spirituality…. Mostly just where it affects his worldly choices in music/movies. (Not anything XXX, but still very unsavory) I am praying for him daily, trusting The Lord with our marriage. But at times, it’s so frustrating! I really want him to step up and be the leader for our family that I know he’s capable of being!

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  6. Brandi says

    Good Evening Saidah,
    I want to start off by saying how big an inspiration and source of enlightenment you have been to me in the last few weeks. Thank you. Thank God for you!
    I am an unmarried single mother who want to be in Christian marriage. I was in a relationship five years ago with a man who displayed all of the qualities that you listed in the article, but I could not recognize them then. I want to believe that God has someone else for me but it is so hard, knowing that I came so close. He is getting married next month and my heart just aches.
    Will you please pray for me?

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    The Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Brandi, please know that God has a perfect plan for us and His plan is able to undo what we may have messed up. I’ve made some huge mistakes to that had altered my life for the worse but God turned all that around when I committed to follow Him and not make decisions that didn’t line up with His word/will. I will pray for you. Are you a member of a Bible believing church? Have you connected with the women’s ministry at your church?

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  7. Barbra says

    Please pray for God to send the man that he has chosen for me. Please pray that I will recognize and know him. I do not want to get caught up in dating several men. I only want who God wants for me. Thank you so much for your blog and words of encouragement.

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  8. grace nderitu says

    Kindly pray for me to get a husband with those traits and for God to prepare me for that right moment amen

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  9. Sara Kelly says

    Hello, I am a married woman recently going through a divorce. My husband and I have been split up for a little over a year now. He and I were married in 2006 and together for a total of 9 years. After his continuous acts of adultery and repetitive lying for 3 years, I decided to leave him and take our child out of the home. It wasn’t healthy to live in such a depressing and hurtful lifestyle. I didn’t want my son subject to that sin as an example. My deepest hurts come from my husband being saved the year prior to us splitting, but him continuing to cheat on me with numerous women. It hurt so much to watch him grow in his walk with god and then so quickly fall back into his old ways. I have let go and let god in this past year. I am a struggling single mother. I have moved out of my parents and into my own home with my son. I work, pay all of my bills alone (when I can afford them), and struggle every single day. But! I wake up daily to give glory to god and thank him for mine and my sons life. I pray for my husband everyday. I have peace in my heart about what has happened, but am allowing god to make the final choices for us. I believe in marriage til death do us part, but he proceeded with the divorce. I just go along for the sake of the land laws. My heart hurts and aches daily still after over a years passing. Please pray for strength and wisdom over it all.

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  10. Christy says

    I have really struggled over the past two and half years in an ambiguous relationship that is a strong friendship and bordered more for a little while. It was the first man I ever feel in love with and my first broken heart. I have been married before but we were young and I was never in love. Now I am 35, divorced and experiencing a broken heart so intensely that it has nearly broken me, my light is dimming. I hurt so bad some days I don’t know how to make it through. I pray urgently and continuously that God will relieve the pain and heal me, so my heart can actually be open to someone new. I could use lifting up in prayer. Thank you for this post.

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  11. Christy says

    Wow Holly that is intense, too bad your mom felt that, it really can alter how we feel especially if you trust that in your mother. God will give you a peace I believe and you should go on your soul.

    I feel the same as you, its so hard seeing everyone together so happy and in love. I am divorced, with no children and sometimes the loneliness is more then I can bare. However I have faith that God puts all of us through our seasons, and this must be ours Holly. I pray things work out with this man or if not, then God was saving you from something worse then being alone.

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  12. Holly Prather says

    I am a 36 year old single mom of a 5 year old. I haven’t dated in 3 years because I don’t know any single Christian men around my age. I have been praying for a long time for God to send me a husband. It is so discouraging to look around and see married couples & dating couples all around & be constantly reminded that you are single. A few times when a guy has shown interest & asked me out it seems that people in my family or church say no before I even go on a date.

    There is a man I met 5 years ago when I started attending my church. His mother & step father go to my church. He is divorced with 2 daughters who come to church pretty often with their grandparents. I teach the children’s ministry & his girls are often in my class. I have a very special bond with them, and we have become very close. I also have a great relationship with his mother. I have gotten to know him over the years & have watched what a great father he is to his girls and he is a great son to his mother. He is sweet & very smart. He recently asked my daughter & I to go skating with him and his two daughters. I was really excited & really wanted to go. My mother who is a very Christian praying lady heard me say we were going skating and she tells me I am not supposed to go or enter into anything with him. She said she had a dream where she saw his face and my face and the word no. I feel very differently then what she feels. I even feel like he could be my husband and I can see the 5 of us as a family. I canceled on the skating so I an pray about it more. As bad as I want to go, and as much as I like him I don’t want to go against God’s will in my life. I also don’t want to be led by others and possibly miss out on something that could be the husband and family that God has for me. I would greatly appreciate your prayers & any insight.

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  13. Chrystal says

    I have been married to a man for 8 1/2 years who says he is a Christian but doesn’t and really has never done any of the things you listed so it is very frustrating I could use prayer for God to work in this situation .
    Thanks

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  14. Christian Woman Searching For A God Fearing Christian Husband says

    Good day!!!

    It seems as though in this day and age at the age of 28. It is quite difficult to find a partner who isn’t afraid to love God whole heartedly. To be a woman of faith, and to share this with men that are interested in me. They seem to run away because they don’t want a woman like me. But my quest to find this man has all become too much for me to search for. I now leave it in the hands of God to help me find a partner. It hurts at timed because o want a stable. Loving

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  15. Loriel says

    I’m requesting prayer for patience & encouragement to wait on the Lord to present me to the man who is my husband. I have an idea of who he is, but I DESIRE that the Lord give me YES or NO. I’m doing my best to live holy and serve in & out of church. Plus I’ll be 40 in a few years. I truly desire to be a best friend, wife, mother, sister-in-law, etc., but I’m getting discouraged. Thank you.

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    The Proverbs Wife Reply:

    Definitely praying for Gods will for you. Don’t lose hope in God.

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  16. Charine says

    Not sure if you were addressing my statement Danielle, but If you are I totally agree with you! I am always sure to encourage him and as I encourage him it encourages me. Matter of fact we both encourage and uplift one another. It’s a beautiful thing. I hope that made some sense. Thank you for sharing!!

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  17. Danielle says

    Believe it or not, sometimes we can be intimidating to the men in our lives. Sometimes it can seem like we’ve got our relationship with God together and know it all. It helps to be open, honest and willing to be open to God using your husband to lead you spiritually. This can be challenging especially when maybe we truly do know more.

    I would suggest complimenting the ways he IS living for Christ right now. If he is faithful, loving, considerate tell him you value how he shows Christ’s love to you. Be open and receptive to his spiritual insight, however small it might be. Continue to build him up when he shows growth. Praying that God continues to move in your hearts.

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  18. Charine says

    Greetings! I am 24 years old, soon to be 25 and I am dating an amazing Christian young man. Call it cliche, but I compiled a list about a year ago and prayed to God about what I wanted in a husband. As I look back on that list, I feel that he fits those requirements.Requirements as far as his spiritual life and character are concerned. We both have our ways when we tend to fall away from God, but we are always there to pick one another back up, encouraging and guiding each in other in the right direction. I am asking that you all keep me in prayer and as you pray, pray that God will guide our thoughts and reveal to us the way that we should go as far as our relationship is concerned. Thank you!

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  19. DeAnne says

    I have a friend who prayed for a godly husband for years. It took a while, but they are the most holy couple with the best family ever. Don’t give up. God’s plan is what matters. Ask for direction and don’t settle for second best! But once you choose, that’s it!

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  20. DeAnne says

    Possibly the godly young woman will be good for him? Much better than him seeking loose women. I think he’s on the right track from what you say. He’s seen the damage infidelity can do and he wants better, too, that’s why he is with a Christian lady. 🙂

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  21. says

    Please keep my son Zack in your prayers He is considering proposing to his girlfriend who is a godly young woman. I love my son but I can see his flaws, I want God to change his heart in some areas so that he can be the husband you describe in this article. He is a Christian but his dad/role model was pretty flawed. ended up committing adultery and leaving me for a younger wealthy woman. I want better for my son. Thank you.

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  22. Heather says

    I want my eleven year old daughter, who is just starting to see boys as something other than, well, boys, to grow up knowing that this is the kind of man she should find. I think I will give it to her and sugest she tapes it to her wall in her room and read over it once in a while as she prays for her future husband.

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  23. Bonnie says

    Rachel, I have been where you are. I would like to encourage you. You have the man that God has now chosen for you, so you can relax about that. I know that you want your husband to be the spiritual leader in your home but for now, you should listen to God’s leading. When your husband says, “You should pray about that.”, Wow, what an opening. Jump right in and say, “What a great idea. let’s do that.” And just start praying out loud. Yes, I know, it takes bravery to just do that, but it is a start. It took a few years of me praising every tiny step my husband took, but it paid off. He is now the spiritual leader in our home and he is comfortable with that. We are not perfect, but we are forgiven. Love to you.

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  24. Nicole says

    My boyfriend and I are seeking God’s will in our relationship. we have had some major setbacks recently but love each other and are passionate about Christ. We are both dealing with a tremendous amount of pain. We would appreciate any prayers. Thank you

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  25. michelle says

    Please pray for a husband for me! I know I’m complete in Christ but struggle with being single? I keep myself busy serving everywhere at church to avoid loneliness but I still feel it sometimes!

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    The Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @michelle,

    Sweetie marriage will not heal your loneliness. 🙁

    It will probably magnify it. You’ll just be married and lonely. God doesn’t make us wives because we are lonely, He makes us wives because we are ready to serve Him and our husbands in the covenant of marriage.

    I am praying for you Michelle not just for a husband but for contentment with Gods will. I don’t know what His will is for your life and you may be able to better serve Him being single. I don’t know. What I do know is that He is faithful, merciful and just. He doesn’t make mistakes. He knows your desires and as a father wants you to have the very best. He sees something that you cannot see Michelle but continue to ask for His wisdom and patience. Ask that He reveal to you areas where He may be trying to prepare you. Marriage is a wonderful thing but it takes a lot of work, dedication and sacrifice. More than you can imagine. The sacrifice required to have a Godly marriage is tremendous and I ask that women really understand what marriage is about.

    I am here for you and praying for you. <3

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  26. Rachel says

    I am married to a man who I know was not a believer when I married him. I had strayed away from my own faith when we dated and married and then my husband got sick with Leukemia soon after we married and we were 4 months pregnant. I was restored to my faith in God and have been ever since; more strongly every day.

    My husband has told me he believes in Jesus but his life doesn’t always reflect it. He won’t read the Bible (says he will get around to it), he calls my spiritually “religion” and he doesn’t pray or consult God in any daily affairs. He tells me I should pray because God seems to listen to me. But, I sincerely want him to find Christ and really start living. It effects every part of our relationship and it is an every day struggle. He is a good man and has shown that in many ways in our marriage. We are raising my nephew alongside our other children and he loves and accepts him. I think he is going in the right direction but he just can’t let go of the world’s hold on him.

    I appreciate you praying for us!

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  27. Missy says

    Please pray for me to be still and keep focus on God until the proper Godly man comes into my life. Thank You.

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    The Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Missy,
    Hi Missy, I will definitely be praying for you. Waiting for a Godly man can be challenging but trust that God knows what He’s doing. In the meantime be prayerful and seek Gods face to know how to prepare yourself to be a future wife. I’d love to know what you are studying from the Bible on becoming a wife.

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  28. catherine engle says

    My husband is not a beliver ,I strugle with some of the things he does that dishoners God. The Lord has told me to focus on Him and I do. I love my husband so much and it breaks my heart to see him suffer feeling that he can’t trust anyone and that he’s all alone. I continue to gently show my husband God’s hand working in his life and sometimes he sees it.He tells me I’m made out of cast iron (because of the peace,strenth,confidence, I display when things get tough)and I say no that’s the Spirit of God in me. God has given me this man as my husband and I am thankful.

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    The Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @catherine engle,

    Hi Catherine,

    It sounds like you are in a tough spot in your marriage. You know how much the Lord loves your husband but it’s a challenge trying to get him to see and believe it.
    Continue to focus on God, be an example of Christ-likeness for your husband and pray for him daily. You and your husband are fighting a battle for his salvation. It’s too important to quit (I know you won’t) I am here for you and am praying for your marriage.

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    catherine engle Reply:

    @The Proverbs Wife, Thank you so much it makes me feel loved to know that my sister in Chrits is praying for us .

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  29. Magan says

    Please pray for me. I’ve been having health issues for about two yrs now and I’m just so tired of being Ill.

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    The Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Magan,

    I’m praying for you Magan, Are you feeling any better this week?

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  30. says

    This is a great post. As a single woman who is a Christian I appreciate the practial advise with bibilcal foundatin. Feel free to pray for me in my social life, and in my blogging efforts.
    Thank you!

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  31. says

    I love this — and it is SO very true!!! This is something that many need to know and remember — particularly young women. Adhering to this would truly save a tremendous amount of heartbreak and heartache!! Thanks so much for sharing!

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    The Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @MELISASource,

    I agree Melisa but I also know it’s hard sometimes to be patient while we wait for a man who has Godly character traits.

    Sometimes a man won’t have all of the traits but if he has some, loves the Lord and shows it in his actions and reads his Bible for direction, that’s a good foundation for a God centered marriage.

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