Tears. Uncontrollable, gut-wrenching tears. You know the weight-of-the-world-on-your-shoulder tears? Most all of us have been there at some time or another.
This is my ‘another.’ Christmas is a very special and happy time in my heart. So why the tears? I don’t go out and get crazy shop-a-holic. I don’t bake like happy Susie Homemaker. I don’t direct pageants or plays at my church. I just feel overwhelmed.
It’s normally starts with my hair. Yes, with my hair. I start hating it about this time. It’s too heavy, it’s this, and it’s that. Then, I move on… there’s no sunshine. It’s gray and bleak and cold.
This is my husband’s busiest time at work, whereas the semester is winding down for me and officially be on Christmas break from December 13. Then it hits me. I miss him.
I miss the times we were goofing off during the summer, having late night talks, and being with each other far more hours out of the day than just the one or two hours we have at the moment.
Then it hits me again, I’m not only 40 now, but in 7 days my daughter will turn 18. More tears. Tears of joy, sadness, laughter, time lost, time spent, and about 100 other emotions I can’t even begin to describe.
Have I done the job that God has given me well? Have I made a lasting impression of the Savior’s love in my own daughter’s heart? Will she fly too high? Or soar dangerously low?
Life is happening, and I feel like I’m being sucked through a Hoover canister vacuum. My energy is low and my frustration level is high. What affects you and your family during the Christmas season?
Not only does the busy schedule turn my life topsy-turvy, but I also miss my Mom who is already having her Christmas celebration with Christ. My heart pangs once more. Loved ones who will be missing from your gatherings, whether by death or because of distance.
Seasonal depression, now known as ‘seasonal affective disorder’ or SAD, is a very real problem, and I promise I’m not trying to be a downer for everyone’s Christ celebration. Oh wait, Christ’s celebration. Then something else hit me this morning:
I am a daughter of the King. Why should I be sad? (Tweet This)
I should be, well, celebrating, and not just at Christmas. However, Jesus and I will, unfortunately, go through this cycle over and over until I am made perfect in His presence.
Here is how I pull myself out of the mucky pit that the world allows us to sometimes trudge in…. I don’t. I can’t do anything. BUT
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).
Sometimes, I forget this no matter how hard I try to dwell on God’s promises. In our humanness, as a wife, mom, working gal (whether as a sahm, wahm, or working outside of the home), and the other tons of hats we all wear at different times, we can easily get caught up in an identity crisis.
Even when we are in a storm, coming out of one,
or heading into one, God still remains faithful.
As a worship leader, I tend to get caught up in the glorious promises of God that are written in the lyrics of songs.
One song that I always go back to when I’m having a bad day, in the midst of trial, or need a gentle reminder is “Sometimes He Calms the Storm” by Scott Krippayne. I would like to share just a portion of the chorus.
“Sometimes He holds us close, And lets the wind and waves go wild, Sometimes He calms the storm, And other times He calms His child.” What a beautiful assurance. Even if we feel abandoned, we are never alone. Rest assured that God knows every single need we have.
You may be saying “You’re one to talk since you’re spilling all of this”; however, let me just say again that seasonal depression is a very real issue for many people, just like any other problem (e.g. diabetes, high blood pressure, etc.)
Some relief methods are getting exercise, plenty of light into your home (if possible), and getting out of your pajamas by keeping your daily routine. For more information, check out the Mayo Clinic.
You may know people who struggle with this problem. Help them out by making a lunch date, giving them a phone call, and definitely lifting them up in prayer. To each and every one who reads this, Merry Christmas.
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