Sharing 6 ways to protect your marriage from divorce is by far one of the most important pieces of advice I give to newlywed couples today. With such a high divorce rate in our country putting a plan in place to prevent it has to be part of the pre-marriage dialogue.
How to protect your marriage from divorce is not a topic I hear talked about by married couples however it’s one that’s very important especially with the high rate of divorces in the church and also in the U.S. as a whole.
Divorce proofing your Christian marriage will begin with the Bible. By using it as the foundation for our actions we can begin setting up boundaries that will ward off the destructive results of a divorce in your family.
Boundaries are meant to protect those behind the boundary and to keep those on the opposite side at a distance.
The main thing we want to keep outside if our marriage is sin. That’s often the hardest so we’ll start with the easier things.
6 Ways to Protect Your Marriage from Divorce
#1 – Divorce is Not and Option
A boundary that should be set up to protect your marriage from divorce is making a decision to remain married no matter what.
What if your husband cheats, or beats you?
These seem to be the primary reasons Christians and non Christian give for couples being able to divorce.
Many may say that the biblical “allowance” for divorce are fornication and an unbelieving spouse who divorces the believer, but there are NO exceptions according to God.
Matthew 19:8. “Moses because of the hardness of your hearts allowed you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so“.
How do talk about divorce not being and option with your husband?
You talk about it from God’s perspective.
If your husband does his best to follow the Bible he knows that he is accountable to God for his actions. By reading over scripture providing Gods will for marriage he will see that it’s not and option. If he loves and understands Gods purpose for marriage he will want to protect your marriage from divorce just as much as you do.
Entering a marriage until death do you part should be the first thing to iron out before saying “I do”.
If you are already married but are having and issue with a husband threatening divorce during times of trouble, be prayerful and communicate your feelings.
The threat of divorce can leave a spouse feeling fearful and unprotected in the marriage. It’s hard to truly plan for the future together when there is always the threat of divorce lingering under the surface of your marriage.
If you are engaged or contemplating marriage it’s a great time to begin the conversation on how to protect your marriage from divorce. Having a discussion about the covenant of marital vows is just as important as the discussions you’ll have about the weeding plans. The goal of the conversation is to know for sure that the person you are planning to marry is in it for the long haul (and by that I mean until death.)
Every marriage is going to experience hard times that will try the marriage bond. Satan hates marriage and his primary goal is to destroy marriages through divorce. That is why it’s so important to come up with marriage boundaries as a form of defense that can protect your marriage from divorce.
The plan should include the three primary parties in the marriage covenant which are;
Biblical marriage is three fold. It’s a commitment between us, our husband and God. It may be easier to break a vow to a spouse but for anyone who is committed to pleasing God should struggle with breaking their marriage vow.
I don’t think people think of it this way which is why there’s so many divorces.
People just walk away.
God has to be in the equation for it to last and the way we bring Him in the equation is to protect your marriage from divorce with Biblical truths.
#2 God First. Spouse Second.
So why is it important to put God first and spouse second? Ephesians 5 tells us the proper order of the family. God specifically gives us the design is for two reasons
first — He wants the family to imitate His Kingdom.
second — He gave us distinct roles specifically designed for our gender that will help our family operate at it’s strongest potential
When we structure our family in the way that God designed, it makes the structure and foundation of our marriage the strongest it can be. Having God as the head and final say in every decision we make, works to to protect your marriage from divorce.
When we see clearly the order of the family we will divert to God in all things. Putting God first makes both the husband and wife accountable to the same authority. It also gives them the same guidebook to operate out of for their marriage. That guidebook is the Bible.
Placing God first in the marriage will prevent the disappointment that comes when your spouse doesn’t live up to your expectations. When God is first, instead of becoming bitter you’ll demonstrate grace and forgiveness. Everything God says in His word about marriage is designed to to protect your marriage from divorce.
#3 Build Your Spouse
God the husband and the wife are the structure of the marriage
If we compared our marriage to a house, God would be the foundation on which it’s built. The wife would be beautiful decor. The husband would be the roof and frame of the home.
The husband protects and shelters.
The wife bring beauty and joy and comfort.
God makes sure everything stays intact.
These roles at times will be interchangeable between the husband and wife with the seasons of life. When children enter the family, mom will become more of a protector. She will still operate in her primary role of joy and comfort, however we will see more of her protector attributes during this season.
The husband will still operate as the primary protector of the family, so the children will have two lines of defense. He should be what stands between his wife and the struggles she may face personally. He should also be what stands between his wife and anything the world throws her way to harm her.
At the same time, the wife should be right there beside her husband building him up. That simply means standing with him and not against him. It means working with him to find solutions to problems that your household may face. That also means being kind and gentle with him by creating and environment of peace and trust.
One or many of the things you read today may be hard to swallow, however, if you do them you will increase your probability for a long lasting, God focused and joyus marriage.
These 6 things will increase your probability for a long lasting,God focused and joyus marriage. (TWEET THIS)
That’s why we need to build up out spouses. If we are the inside if the home, the same way we take care of beautifying the inside of our homes we must pay close attention to the care of the outside as well.
If we let the outside fall to pieces that inside will be worthless once it’s unprotected and exposed to the elements. The husband is there to take the brunt of the elements so the wife and children don’t have too.
We have a great deal of influence over our husbands and we can use it to make them better or worse. (TWEET THIS)
How do think satan wants you to use your power of influence over your husband?
How do think GOD wants you to use your power of influence over your husband?