How to Stop Being an Angry Parent

How to Stop Being an Angry Parent

If you’re a mom of school age kids and you don’t homeschool you are either dreading the last day of school, looking forward to it, or are somewhere in between.

The thought of having your kids home with you for most of the day during the Summer may be intimidating if you are working on controlling your tongue.

Some of you are hopeful about the last day of school, have already accessed your instant download and plan to use the Summer to work through my ebook Remove from Me this Venomous Tongue — How to Stop Destroying Your Family with your Words.

I want this Summer to be a joy filled time for every mother reading this post today. I want your children’s days to be filled with joyful memories not days spent walking around on eggshells hoping mom doesn’t lose it.

When the Summer ends and your kids return to school I want them to be sure of two things:

1. God loves them.

2. Mom loves them.

You may be wondering how you are supposed to do this when you can barely make it from 3:00 when school let’s out until their bedtime without yelling.

Well I’m not going to provide you a simple and dismissive answer because there isn’t one.

The only way you are going to create joy filled days where you patiently mother your children is going to be by the grace of God, a willing and obedient spirit and complete surrender.

You are going to have to lay the women you are today on the altar as a living sacrifice and let the Holy Spirit guide every single solitary moment of your day.

You will have to surrender it all.

Your thoughts, will, actions, words and emotions to Him.

God and His word must become the filter through which you process everything you do.

If you are often frustrated, stressed, overwhelmed and at your wits end with your family that is a clear indication that God is not in control over that area of your life.

God is not the author of chaos and confusion, He is the author of peace.

I want you to win!!

If it wasn’t true I wouldn’t have wrote such a transparent ebook about my struggle with anger. I’m on your side and I’m advocating for you and your children.

I’m petitioning God for this to be the Summer where everything changes for your family. I don’t want you to live like you’ve been living anymore. I’ve been there and it’s like hell on earth.

I want you to be free from the bondage of defeat.

I want to help you get there. I am here to pray with you. If you leave a comment below with just your name, I’ll pray for you.

Do you want this Summer to be different?

Let’s do this.

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Lord you know our needs before we even ask. That’s how amazing You are.

I am so glad that you are a God who is not afar off but You are able to relate to our infirmities.

I am so glad that You went to the cross for us and gave us an example of what it means to die to the flesh so that we can live at liberty in the Spirit.

Right now these women who struggle with patiently mothering are not at liberty and if they’ve read this far they so desperately want to be made new.

I petition You Most High God to do a miraculous work in them to where they know that it was nobody but You.

Thanks you so much again Lord for changing me. You’ve made me a better wife and mother. Thank you Father so much for forcing I mean encouraging me to write this book and helping so many.

I am truly humbled and honored to be your daughter.

Comments

  1. Jessica says

    I am single mother and I hate to parent angry. When I ley other, friends, family ideas on how I should parent I let it consume me. I pray every day, moments during the day asking forgiveness. I want to move on. I love my son, I wan us to find peace, please pray for me……..

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    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Jessica, praying for you!

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  2. says

    Being a parent isn’t easy. I’m usually cranky and fussing before I’ve even dropped my kids off for school, much less by the time bed time comes around. I have 5 kids. 3 girls that are 10, 9 & 7. My 7 year old is extremely strong willed and it gets hard. I also have 2 boys ages 3 & 2.
    Thanks for your prayers!

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    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Kristie, you are in my prayers girlfriend. I realized I was making parenting harder than it had to be because I was very controlling. I didn’t want my kids to get hurt, experience pain, etc. so I micromanaged them. I went through a period where I asked God to help me be a better mom and show me why I was struggling. Sometimes it’s not our kids making us annoyed, it’s us. (But sometimes it is our kids..LOL!) Im praying for you dear!

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    Jana Reply:

    @A Proverbs Wife,
    This is me. A micromanager and I HATE it 🙁 7 kids at home and one of them (4 yr old daughter) is a GIANT handful…very strong willed and throws a ton of tantrums. Makes for a grumpy mom 🙁 Which I do not like being. I pray daily God helps me and changes that in my life.
    Jana´s last blog post ..Teeny-tiny-Angelina turns 3 today

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    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Jana, A great resource I highly recommend is Her Pleasant Words http://aproverbswife.com/2014/10/instant-download-pleasant-words-4-week-devotional.html . It’s a devotional that guides the heart and mind toward God which helps guard our attitudes at home. Another is a post I read a long time ago about Tomato Staking Kids. I think it’s a great method to use with strong willed kids alongside consistent correction and instruction. http://raisinggodlytomatoes.com/ch07.php

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    Amy Reply:

    @A Proverbs Wife,

    I would love to know how you let go of being so controlling and able to enjoy more.
    amykathryn7 @ gmail . com

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    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Amy, great question. That’s going to come with faith that things will work out for your good even if you’re not controlling everything. The truth of the matter is that we aren’t really in control anyway even when we think we are. Pray for God to help you trust His plan and in believing He’s in control of your life.

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  3. says

    Ashley .. Please pray for me .. Thank you for writing this & for helping moms out there . I am single mom of 3 boys , 19 month , 11 year old & 14year old. I am ashamed of how I have yelled , hollered and said things to hurt their feelings. They are my world and the only thing I wake up for. I love them & am ready to change my ways.

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  4. MNW says

    Please pray for me. I so desperately don’t want to parent ANGRY anymore. I know God can do this, I just don’t know what to do anymore to make this happen in me.

    Thank you for your offer to pray.

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    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @MNW, I am praying with you!

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  5. Lauri says

    I struggle with this every day! I want to be the calm, loving parent that my son needs, to show him God’s unconditional and accepting love. I set out every morning with that plan, and fail miserably several times a day. My son is home schooled because he struggles in the traditional classroom setting, due to dyslexia and other learning disabilities. Please pray for me and my lack of patience, compassion, and perseverance. I don’t want to respond to him the way I do, but I can’t seem to do this on my own. I pray to God daily about it, and feel helpless to change it.

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    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Lauri, I am praying with you!

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  6. says

    Andrea, I’m a single mom of four. All but one is a teenager. Need prayers, for a place to live. Strength, Love, and Peace in this utmost difficult time of our lives. I’m having an extremely difficult time. Children are upset and acting out. Please, and thank you!

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    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Andrea, I’m praying with you and over those children of yours.

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  7. Melanie says

    Please pray for me. I have three boys, ages 6,7 & 9. I am struggling with having pure joy. I know it comes from our one and only Father in Heaven. I have Him in my heart but I still find it hard. Please pray I allow the Holy Spirit to work in me and change my negative ways.
    Thank you.

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  8. Susan says

    Please pray for me. I need help. I am a mother of a six year old girl, five year old boy and a nine month old girl. I get to angry everyday.

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    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Susan, I prayed for you and am looking forward to your breakthrough. Be sure to check out my devotional and ebook Bible study on this subject. I’m positive it will impact your life for the better. You can do this.

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  9. Angela says

    Thank you so much for this! It is my daughter’s 4th bday and I had no idea this is where my morning would go. I am scrolling on IG at her bday wishes from family and friends and scroll past this pic that stopped me in my tracks. I eeerily shuttered at the thought of my 11 yr old daughter standing there and her father or myself yelling at her and the fear in her eyes. It is turning her into this cold person I noticed the last time her dad did it. It is emotional abuse I think. I am tired of the kids not listening, but I am broken by the look on their faces after being yelled at. I am simply torn down as are they. They are kids and don’t deserve this they deserve better more loving guidance. I don’t know where to start! PLEASE HELP ME PLEASE!!!! Help me learn this not just for myself, but for my husband be he can be scary when this happens. I cannot tell him that though bc he blames his outbursts on the kids. Please help!

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    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Angela, I am so glad you scrolled across my post today. Happy Birthday to your daughter!! You can fix this mama!! First you must start with you and I highly recommend my devotional because it has every scripture in it along with practical applications. It shows us how our words are hurting our loved ones and provides us better ways of dealing with our children’s immaturity. I truly believe, if your husband loved the Lord and your children he will begin to also seek out the same verses from the devotional to realign his parenting style with Father Gods. I became yeller because I was yelled at growing up. I thought it was normal, but later realized it made me a bitter shell as an adult. I was also very anxious and a people pleaser. The good thing about God is that he’s able to redeem what we’ve made crooked, even when it comes to our kids. Be Blessed!!

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    Megan Reply:

    @Angela, Every word of yours I just read felt like I was writing it. I feel like a failure every day. I’m not worthy to be my children’s mom. Like you said they are just kids and the things they do that anger me are ridiculous, I shouldn’t get that angry at them. My heart shatters with every tear that falls. Every time I can see the heart break on their face I hate myself that much more. I have always been a hot head. I am definitely better than I used to be, I attribute that to age, but I’m nowhere where my kids and my husband deserve me to be. Please pray for me as well…

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    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Megan, if you’ve repented please don’t condemn yourself. You didn’t become who you are overnight so yo won’t change overnight, but you’ve said you’re making progress. The grief we experience after going to far is a red flag that we still have work to do. It’s a good sign because it show that we have not, gotten so bad that we don’t feel remorse for our sin.

    We need that signal. What I’d suggest is really sitting down with your kids afterward and explain gin to them that what they did was wrong (if it was), or apologizing to them and explaining that mommy is trying to be more Christ-like, but struggles with getting angry. Explain to them, that it’s not their fault. It’s yours and your working on it. (explain to them in a way that’s age appropriate) We are raising our kids to be believers and part of that is forgiveness and grace. This gives them an opportunity to do that and help you grow as a mom.

    Read Romans 8:1

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  10. Jessica says

    Please pray for me. I’m the mom of 5, and one is an angry child. We all need prayer, but our relationship especially.

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    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    Hi @Jessica, I have been in your shoes. I am praying for you sweet friend and especially for the heart and spirit of your child. God will see you through these years of parenting. Let Him use you to be the change your family needs.

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  11. joyce caballero says

    Thank you for all th3 info. So desperately need by most parents!

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    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @joyce caballero, You are so welcome. Parenting is a challenge so we need to be encouraged and inspired because it can get rough sometimes. Thank you for commenting.

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  12. says

    I need and want that prayer. My 5 year old son told me a couple days ago that I break his heart everytime I yell at him. I am always so mad, very short fuse. I am taking my frustrations with his dad out on him. I so not want to be this mom anymore. I want to be that mom that can be stoic at times and not be a ticking bomb all the time. I love my son and I never thought that I would become a yeller. I am most definitely make room in budget for your book. Bless you. Thank you.

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  13. says

    Single, tired overwhelmed mother of two who needs prayer. I havent been walking with the Lord lately and living my life my way is miserable!!! I need to let the Healer have control but relinquishing that is hard for me. I am fed up with who I have become and tired of letting the anger build up inside of me and steal my joy. It has stole the loving carefree mother away from my children and I refuse to continue down this destructive path. I want the freedom and happiness that Jesus gives! Please pray I will surrender and let go of control to gain my life back.

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  14. Alaina says

    Please pray for me this is something I have struggled with even as a person before having children. I had lots of anger and yell at my parents when I was younger. Now it has carried over to my marriage and children. I know I can be changed but I have to give it all to God and let him be in control and trust him. Thank you.

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  15. Jamie says

    Love this! I struggle with the yelling and anger emotions daily 🙁 It makes me so upset when I yell, I usually cry afterwards. Please say a prayer for me to surrender and be a better mother and wife (cause I’m sure that is not what he wants to hear when he walks in the door) Thank you!

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  16. @mamagrumpypants says

    I have two amazing boys and I am a yeller. BIG TIME! I absolutely hate it! I know my family hates it too. I am going to order your book as soon as the money is in the budget for it. I have tried for years to change it and obviously it hasn’t worked. I just want to be “that mom”…. the one who can control her kids that doesn’t yell and has a happy family. Please pray for my family and I as we strap in for one last ride on the crazy ride that is mom trying to stop yelling. Thanks. And God bless.

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    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @@mamagrumpypants, I will definitely pray for you. I used to be so guilt ridden so I know your struggle. It was by the grace of God that I am able to exhibit self control in my parenting. I could not have overcome that on my own. It had a hold on me, but as I did the things I wrote in book, God began to make me new from the inside out. I’m a totally different wife and mom now. I’m happier and more at peace inside and out. I know you can be that mom too. I’m praying for you.

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  17. Amy says

    Please pray for me. I sincerely want God to be in control of this area in my life.

    [Reply]

    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Amy, This is so tough, but you can do it. I will be in prayer for you. Have you read my book? I take you step by step through the process of overcoming my anger and how I now patiently parent. If you want to check it out, here’s the link. http://aproverbswife.com/2013/04/instant-download-remove-from-me-this-venomous-tongue-how-to-stop-destroying-your-family-with-your-words.html

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  18. Ann says

    Prayers needed here for hubby and I both. We wanted a child so bad, swore we wouldn’t be likeour parents and here we are with a short temper and sometimes even shorter patience. We WANT to change, thank you for praying…thank you for writing this. God bless!

    [Reply]

    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Ann, I will be in prayer for you. Parenting is hard and coming to terms with our own shortfalls and anger triggers is even harder, but not impossible. Have you read my book? I take you step by step through the process of overcoming my anger and how I now patiently parent. If you want to check it out, here’s the link. http://aproverbswife.com/2013/04/instant-download-remove-from-me-this-venomous-tongue-how-to-stop-destroying-your-family-with-your-words.html

    Be Blessed!!

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  19. Melissa says

    Hi. I am the mother if two- 4 & 7. I worked so hard to have kids. Years of fertility, thousands upon thousands of dollars and I am an angry mom. It breaks my heart. I live my kids desperately but seem to have such a short rope. I feel defeated everyday and full of guilt. I pray every morning- often several times for the day to be different. It is the one part of mothering that no one seems to share about bc it is so shameful. I ask for your prayers and have hope that with surrender things can change and be different. I want to be a different kind of parent.

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  20. Cara says

    My name is cara, I’m a mother of 4 great kids. I could use prayers! They are ages 13, 8, 4 & 2. I need to surrender each day as my world as a work at home mommy, I have an in home daycare, my day with 8+ children is pretty much chaotic! Thank you & God bless!

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  21. yvonne says

    Yes i need prayer sad but true i admit. I wasnt always like that when my kids were toddlers now its been like 2 yrs i have been feeling like that. & my kids r 6 & 9 & i hate it when im angry, frusterated, stressed, overwhelmed. I have placed myself where enough is enough & asked god for his help but im sure hes working in me. Please keep me in your prayers i surrender my all to God. My name is yvonne 🙂 & thank you so much forr this. & thank you for being there. God bless you always. 🙂

    [Reply]

    The Proverbs Wife Reply:

    Hi @yvonne, being a mom is tough especially with all of the other responsibilities we have. I wish there were a pill we could take to make us more patient moms but unfortunately some of us have to work really hard at have Christ-like character in our parenting. I’ll definitely keep you in my prayers. I talk about patient mothering all of the time in my posts because it’s so important for us to grasp. We don’t want our children to learn lack of self control from us. I’m praying with you sweet friend.

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  22. Arnesia says

    Please pray my strength. I have three kids one special needs, and another with learning difficulties. I am always frustrated and overwhelmed. I do know God is with me though it all.

    [Reply]

    The Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Arnesia, I am praying for you dear. It’s hard being a mom of multiple children, then throw learning difficulties and special needs in the mix and the challenge becomes greater but you know that God has blessed you with everything you need to patiently mother. Be patient with yourself and very prayerful.

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  23. Kari says

    Kari. I desperately want to change. I feel like I’m becoming this mother I never dreamed of, never thought I could become. How can I be so impatient and sometimes downright mean to my little babies? I’m heartbroken over it.

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  24. Audra Patterson says

    Thank you so much for this and all your post. I am a divorced mother of six. Everyday your words help me grow. My homemaking and parenting with patience is really a struggle for me. Thank you in advance, and God bless you and yours.

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  25. Windy says

    This is definitely me and I honestly didn’t realize it reflected a lack of surrender on my part. Yes, by all means, pray for me.

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  26. Brandy says

    My problem is with my 21 yo son that’s moved back in our house. He eats all our food and shows no gratitude or appreciation for what we do for him. He has a “you owe me” attitude, which we did NOT raise him to have!

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  27. Caroline says

    Summer is almost over but praying for victory in this area – I’m afraid that my attitude has caused the same attitude in my 9 year old son. DON’T want to be this way towards him.

    [Reply]

    The Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Caroline, As your mind renews and your character changes your son will see that. We will never be perfect parents which is the whole purpose for repentance. Be open with your son about where you’ve fallen short and let him know you are working to get better for him and for you. I’m praying for you.

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  28. Rachel says

    Rachel, mother of 2 kids. I’ve been struggling to be a better christian mom. Thank you, i want to be victorious not defeated. Amen!

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  29. Becky Kremer says

    I want my children to see HIM through me. Can’t exactly do that while screaming.Thanks for your prayers! Becky

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  30. Arnesia says

    Pease pray for me as I am raising a special needs child and another child with learning difficulties. Lord help me to be patient, gentle, and kind.

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  31. Tiffany says

    Just spoke the prayer in agreement to all of the mothers that struggle. I too, am one of them. Please pray for God to give me patience and help me to hold my tongue.

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  32. Tamekia says

    Please pray for me and I have been struggling with some of the things I say to my children out of anger. I am a single mom of 3 kids 14,13 and 11. It gets so tough at times.

    [Reply]

  33. Ashley says

    Ashley. Appreciate it. Ps: there are some grammatical errors in the outline prayer above, but it still speaks of my heart as well!

    [Reply]

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