How to Find God in the Darkness

How to Find God in the Darkness

How many times in your life have you struggled while living as a child of God

A struggle, as defined by Webster’s dictionary, is contending with an adversary or opposing force.

What do we, as believer’s consider to be our “opposing” force or struggle?  For many it would be Satan.  He attacks our marriages, our children, and our friendships.

His mission is to steal, kill, and destroy.  He also likes to create division, confusion, and disorder within our minds.

My struggle is with myself.

I have body dysmorphic disorder.  It is an illness in which you obsess about a flaw in your appearance.  In my case, it is my weight.

I have struggled with this for as long as I can remember. It also causes me to isolate myself for long periods of time.

When I first became a follower of Jesus, I thought there was no way He could make this better.

I struggled with thoughts such as, “How could Jesus love me and why would He even want to love me?”  I had hit the darkest part in my life.  Suicide seemed not only logical to me, but a relief to the way I was living.

Every day I prayed for a release.  Every day I begged God for a ‘normal’ life and a ‘normal’ body.  Every day, despite what was going on around me, I felt empty, alone, and afraid.

It was in these dark moments of my life, where I found my secret place with God.  It was in the lonely hours of the nights that I could cry out to Him and be comforted.

One specific night I reading His word,  and I stumbled upon these verses:

As for me I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.  Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light. He will bring me out into the light; I will see His righteousness. (Micah 7:7-9 paraphrased) 

After researching these few verses, I found out that the people of Judah had failed and their enemies were laughing at them.  If we look within ourselves closely, we will find that our human desire is selfish and prideful; therefore, causing us daily to try to satisfy our own desires.  In the midst of my darkness, I wanted to be the one to control.

My control was over what I ate, what I wore, and what makeup to apply.  If I were going anywhere, I felt like my image had to be perfect.  If it wasn’t, I would make an excuse and never leave my house.

I had to surrender to Jesus.  I had to learn how to relinquish control.

I believe God gives us two aides to help us in our time of struggle.

  1. His word

  2. His Holy Spirit.

It was through His word where I heard Him speak so softly to my heart and in that moment I felt His spirit guide me.

During my rock bottom phase, I had two options: wallow in the darkness of self-pity or repent my need to control and surrender to Jesus.

Our eternal Father does not want us to sink without the hope of being rescued.

While I still struggle with body dysmorphic disorder I have found freedom through Christ.

He’s helped me make wiser choices mentally and physically. I now do my part by focusing on healthy eating habits and exercising every day.

Spiritually, I surrender my disorder to God daily and He supplies me with hope, strength, and joy to get through the day.

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Do you struggle secretly with something that feels so heavy that you feel like giving up?

I find myself there sometimes and then God sends me a life line. Maybe this post was your lifeline. If so, I want to pray with you.

Simply leave you prayer need or just your name in the comments below. If you can, please pray for someone as well.

Comments

  1. Jennifer Tobin Beraducci says

    Going threw a tuff time and struggling with some demons inside myself please pray for me along with the less fortunate! God bless you all

    [Reply]

    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Jennifer Tobin Beraducci, I’m praying for you love. Dark times won’t last forever and even God can shine light in the darkest situation.

    [Reply]

  2. Lynn says

    Your blog had brought me to the Lord….if you could pray for my new journey as it begins…Thank you so very much.

    [Reply]

    Kimberly Reply:

    @Lynn,
    Hi Lynn,

    THAT IS AMAZING NEWS!!! I am so excited to hear that you’ve accepted Christ into your heart and life. I pray that He will place Godly women and mentors in your life to help you along your journey. I pray that He aligns a place for you to worship and help to build a solid community around you. In Jesus’ name, Amen!

    I am here to help if you have any questions, please feel free to email me directly at kimberly.villasenor@hotmail.com. And be sure to look around the website. We have a lot of info on how to living a Godly life (:

    Blessings,
    Kimberly

    [Reply]

  3. Kimberly says

    Hi Donna,

    Thank you so much for your comment. I will pray for you and your family. The Lord knows exactly what you need. I pray that He will give you peace in times of struggle and uncertainties. I pray that you will feel His prescense around you and pray that He will guide your steps. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
    Blessings to you and your family,
    Kimberly

    [Reply]

    Donna Reply:

    @Kimberly,
    Kimberly, Thank you so much for your prayer for my family it really means so much to us and God bless you.

    [Reply]

  4. says

    Please pray for my family and I as we are facing financial difficulties…I pray everyday and all day in hopes for some good fortune will come our way…I thank God everyday for blessing me with what we do have. Thank you so much for prayers and God Bless you all!

    [Reply]

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