Today I turn 38 years old and woke up happy as always. I love mornings. I get excited when I wake up and see daylight. I feel like God just blessed me one more time. I wake up believing I’m still here because God has a job for me, so I get excited not wanting to waste the day.
That has kinda‘ hurt me while I’ve been sick with bronchitis. These past two weeks my mind has been saying, “Yes…it’s a new day, let’s get it”, but my body has been saying, “no ma’am, you’re gonna sit this one out”.
It’s been weird for me to rest physically this long, but I’ve had a tremendous amount of time to reflect on my life and purpose.
In the last six months or so of 2014 I stopped having a passion for writing here and started Aprons and Stilletos. I didn’t know at the time what was my problem, but now know I was getting burned out with the confrontation.
Yes….people email, comment and message me ranting about what they aren’t going to do in their marriages or about how stupid being a believer is.
In the past, I’d respond, then I began ignoring, but the context of these communications was causing me to doubt myself and what God has called me to do.
I write here out of a pure desire to strengthen my marriage and leave a legacy for the women in my family. When I started this site in 2008, it was for the sole purpose of keeping a record of my growth as a Christ follower and keeper at home.
I wanted my daughters and myself to be able to look back and see my growth as a wife and mom.
With time, you guys started visiting and became loyal followers and friends, supporters and an inspiration to me, but then in 2014 I started letting the nay-sayers get to me.
I was getting worn out so I pulled back.
No, I stopped. I stopped writing and waited for God.
It was so quiet for a while. He didn’t say anything about the site. So I did nothing new with it. I only continued sharing on my Instagram, Twitter and Facebook, things I’d already written here over the years.
I was ready to call it quits, when God asked me if I was ready.
I was like, “ready for what?“— cause that’s how me and my Daddy talk to each other.
What He showed me has me renewed me and challenged me at the same time. I’m talking an almost fearful kinda challenge, because I absolutely know I am not cut out for what He’s asking me to do.
I’m not qualified at all.
I have no formal marital counselling training.
I have no formal teaching skills.
Yet God is asking me to counsel and teach women on a more personal level.
— You mean you want me to come out from behind my computer screen and actually teach, counsel and mentor?
So what do I do in light of His reply?
I do what I always do when God calls me to something greater than me.
I say I’ll go. I’ll do it.
The first thing I have planned is a small group The Better Marriage Challenge small group study. Space will be limited to 50 women once registration opens up. I’ve already begun drafting our #BetterMarriageChallenge workbook, but even now I’m experiencing resistance with the project.
(The Better Marriage Challenge Journal Rough Draft)
The pages are deigned, but with this being my first time designing a digital product in Apple Pages it’s a struggle to finish arranging them. I am prayerful, I can get it figured out this week.
I am so thankful to all of you who have sent me personal emails via my newsletter and who have encouraged me over the last few months — I needed it.
I needed to know that you wanted what I was sacrificing my time to offer and that I wasn’t imagining my calling.
I am called to restore marriages and cultivate happy homes. It’s what I’m good at. I have a gift of encouragement and want to pour that out on every woman who wants to receive it.
So in 2015, I’m not wasting my time, intellect or energy on anyone who doesn’t want the kind of resources I provide. I’m seriously devoting my time to helping women who get the big picture and want better marriages.
I hope I didn’t bore you to death with this looooooooooooooooong post, but I wanted to get you up to speed on where we’re going.
The final piece of this journey for me and my site will be in person learning sessions. I want to come to your city and sit down side by side with you and your girlfriends in live learning sessions.
I’m not sure yet how to get that up and running, so if you are an expert in your city who knows how to facilitate a mini conference contact me.
Be Blessed — Saidah!
P.S. Today through midnight, use coupon code ‘BIRTHDAY‘ at checkout to save $3 off any of my ebooks.