Marriage Without Arguments is Possible

Marriage Without Arguments Is Possible

Marriage Without Arguments Is Possible

In my marriage speaking, motivated by love has been the difference between an argument and a solution. Speaking from a position of love rather than knowledge has been the difference between building my marriage up and tearing it down. I’m a know-it-all by nature, but unchecked it can lead to saying things that are true but don’t need to be said. Speaking what I know and speaking from a position of love are two different things.

When dealing with our husbands on issues, being knowledgeable on a subject plus being angry can lead to having the wrong attitude in a conversation. Knowledge mixed with anger can lead us to speak in a condescending tone. If our goal in conversations with our spouse is to win the argument, being more informed about the topic can lead us to being pompous, prideful, arrogant, overbearing and selfish. In Christian marriage, our motive in conversations with our spouses should never be to win an argument.

 

I jokingly posted an image on my Facebook page recently demonstrating how to win an argument with your spouse, but in all seriousness, our goal should be never to argue with our spouse.

In Marriage Quote

I read a quote a few weeks ago which said, “a couple who doesn’t argue is a couple with many secrets”. I couldn’t disagree more.

 

According to God’s plan for marriage, there shouldn’t be any discord between a husband and wife.

 

Is it okay to disagree? Yes. Germaine and I have disagreements from time to time. We don’t see eye to eye initially, we talk it out and come to a resolution.

 

The discord, I’m referring to is full on shouting matches, silent treatment and any other instances that result in anger.

 

I could write a book on arguing, in fact I did. Arguing used to be a weekly if not a daily occurrence for us until I begin to make the changes I share about in my book.

 

A marriage without arguments is possible.

 

That includes silent arguments. People tell me all the time about how they don’t yell and cuss, yet they give one another the silent treatment for days at a time. There are many forms of arguing.

My goal is peace with my husband. I want to be on the same page with him and going in the same direction.

To do that I’ve learned it takes love. It’s going to take more than shallow Valentine’s Day to get the results I’m talking about. It’s going to take God’s type of love. The love Jesus demonstrated toward us. It will take the love God describes in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

Do you want a marriage like no one else’s? I’m not pressing toward a marriage where the arguments are the norm because all arguments do is take our focus off of God. No, ma’am, I’m pressing toward a marriage where everyday we are edifying one another in the glory of God.

 

Who’s ready to redefine the atmosphere of their marriage?

  The Better Marriage Challenge  

If you’re ready I want to add you to my prayer list. Leave a comment below proclaiming an argument free marriage. Let me know what you are planning to do differently this week to decrease arguments in your marriage.

 

 

Father, I believe in argument free marriages. Your word says that You are not the author of confusion and I believe that. I believe discord, envy and all feelings of bitterness are from the devil. Father, help us to be transformed by Your word.

Help us to communicate with our spouses from a position of love. Thank you Father for giving me the courage to write about my struggle with an argumentative communication style. I pray you give APW readers the courage to do marriage the way that You designed.

Thank You in advance for changed marriages and the impact it has on us, future generations and those around us.

In the mighty name of Jesus.

Filed under: Proverbs Wife

Comments

  1. May God bless you and continue to use you. I was recently referred to the website by a friend and I began to subscribe. All I can say is, I thank God for giving you the inspiration to write, post videos and share your beauty secrets. I felt inspired to get back to my beauty routine, get organized and I am always looking for ways to strengthen my marriage. God has blessed me with a true man of God but more importantly He has blessed me with the gift of marriage to be a reflection of the relationship between Christ and the Church. I feel that its our responsibility to bring God glory in marriage! That’s what you inspire in women.

    God Bless

    [Reply]

    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Sharron, Thanks so much for your kind words!! Blessing to you!!

    [Reply]

    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Sharron, Thank you so much.

    [Reply]

  2. A great post indeed. At the end of the day, Marriage should bring peace & happiness to both involved. A great advice from you on the importance of communication to make it all possible without arguments.

    [Reply]

  3. It’s so important to remember the person we disagree with… to do it love.

    [Reply]

  4. This is great advice for a healthy marriage based on love and communication.

    [Reply]

  5. This is a great post! Marriage should promote happiness and I think all couples should have the chance to go to therapy.

    [Reply]

  6. I’m not married but I KNOW FOR A FACT without communication of ALL YOUR FEELINGS about the situation, relationship, person, etc = A ROLLER COASTER relationship!!!!!! I have been going through a relationship with a certain someone for the past year and it’s been up and down so much until Dec of last year because while we have so much fun together, and talk about everything and know each other like the back of our hands…. I always feared telling him how I REALLY felt thus I think he always thought I was hiding something so I always thought he was hiding something. This year though, I have adopted a completely NEW MINDSET about everything (I give no Fs) and it has helped SOOOOO MUCH! I tell him exactly how I feel, because if he cannot accept it, then he’s not the one for me. And guess what? This year has been pretty great! I shall knock on wood, but he once told me that jinx does not exist so…. I will believe him – ha ha!

    [Reply]

  7. Please pray for my husband and I, we are struggling with what is a discussion, arguments and just talking. Today after 2 long silent treatment days and me praying to bring peace he finally told me wants to learn to watch his tone his moods and patience with our children and myself , so he wants to be part of a prayer group and so i thank God because he answered my prayers and now my husband and I agreed we would each start our day in prayer together. My husband’s name is Hugo and we would like to be kept in prayer. Thank you

    [Reply]

  8. Committing to walking in love

    [Reply]

Leave Your Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *