How to Stop Being an Angry Wife and Mom

How to Stop Being An Angry Wife and MomWhen you want to yell at your husband or kids, but don’t you have gained a victory over the enemies plans to destroy your family.

Satan wants to see you angry, frustrated and out of control. He loves to see you take the reins off of your words and say whatever comes to mind. In fact, he snickers when you don’t use wisdom over your words and allow your emotions boil over and erupt onto your loved ones.Fight for Your Marriage

I know first hand what it is to loose the battle over words and emotions. I was an argumentative wife and mother who yelled until God led me to the solution in His word.

I was tired off yelling out of frustration and anger. It was hurting me mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. Not only was it hurting me, but it was destroying my marriage and my children.

I didn’t want to be a yeller and I’m sure neither do you. If you’re reading this, you’re probably at a point where you realize you have to change, but you don’t know how. That’s where I was when I decided to something had to give.

There were ten things I knew could happen if I didn’t take control in this area of my life.

 

  1. My marriage would end in divorce.

  2. My husband and I would grow farther and farther apart.

  3. My marriage would be miserable.

  4. My children would suffer from anxiety.

  5. My children would probably duplicate my habits with my grandkids.

  6. My children would possibly reject my faith.

  7. My husband and children would think I was a hypocrite.

  8. My children wouldn’t have a healthy outlook on marriage and parenting.

  9. I’d be teaching my kids distain for their father in my tone and words.

  10. My kids could grow up feeling unloved.

I refused to allow any of these scenarios to take place in my life and I want to make sure they don’t happen in yours.

There are several things you can do right away to begin the process of breaking the hold that this communication style has on your life. I talk about them in depth in my book Remove From Me This Venomous Tongue, but I’m going to give you four actions you can begin doing right away.



Action #1: Repent

Tell your husband and/or children how sorry you are for the way you’ve used your words with them in the past. Let them know that you have thrown yourself on Gods mercy and are expecting Him to help you become and better wife and mom when it comes to controlling your anger and communicating.

Action #2: Enlist Help

Get your husband and/or children on board with you as you work through the book. The best way they can help is by praying for you, with you and by having grace. You will not change overnight so you’ll need their support and forgiveness when you resort to your old habits.

Action #3: Dig In

Prayer and scripture study specific to the topic of communication are going to play a huge part in your spiritual transformation. We are spirit first and then flesh and this issue isn’t going to just be a matter of changing habits. It’s going to be a heart and soul change that will take place in your life and that can only come from time spent in the word. I search the Bible cover to cover and laid out the scriptures and what they say about how we communicate and provided practical ways to implement the Biblical principles in everyday life.

Guard my Tongue Prayer

Action #4: Be Patient

It took me nearly three years to finally have a grasp on my emotions, because at the end of the day, it was my emotions that were out of control. Those emotions were fueled by untrue or distorted thoughts. I had to be patient as God transformed and renewed my mind. As He changed the way I thought, the way I acted began to change. Be willing to be patient with the process.

Why do I share the fact that I struggled in this area?

I share it because I want you to know about Father Gods redemptive power. Where the devil tells you, you’ll never be any better, God comes in and proves that’s a lie.

I want you to know that it’s not just you. Many women struggle in this area while others don’t. There are so many reasons why we communicate they way we do, stemming from our upbringing to what we’ve allowed ourselves to believe is a healthy way to communicate.

None of that is important. The only thing that matters is are you willing to do what needs to be done to change the future for your family.

When you’re ready, I want you to download a copy of the Remove From Me This Venomous Tongue devotional, then grab your Bible and a pencil. That’s all you’ll need to put you on the path to breaking this curse in your life.

You’ve got this!!

Prayer for Strength

If you would like to receive prayer, please leave a comment below and we will pray over it. Also, please share your experiences or comments because we are all women of prayer and can encourage one another.

MORE READING:

Saving a Marriage That Is Falling Apart

Comments

  1. Valerie says

    This article was exactly what I needed at this point in my life. Although I have 5 kids and have been married for 10yrs, I have been feeling alone and isolated lately. I feel my marriage has been a little rocky and my husband and I are just having a difficult time communicating effectively and understanding one another. I feel invalidated and dismissed when I try to explain how I’m feeling. I feel I try my hardest as a mother to keep my kids safe, healthy, and feeling loved, and all I get are kids who keep fighting with one another and complaining about everything. I work really hard to watch what I’m saying and what words I use to change my mindset and the atmosphere here at home, so this article is greatly appreciated. Thank you. I would gladly love some prayer over this difficult time in my life right now.

    [Reply]

  2. DeAnne says

    The Lord has been dealing with me on this for a few weeks; I just remarried a little over a month ago and have 3 children from my first marriage. My husband is only 49 ( I’m 43) but he is a disabled vet; he suffers from PTSD. We are both very devout Christians. I work full time and come home usually exhausted to a house that is demolished. He does nothing but play video games and surf the web all day, something I was not aware of prior to marriage. He says he will help, but when I ask he says that the stuff I want help with is wife stuff. I am growing angry and bitter as he refuses to talk about it or help but gets upset when I run around the house after work until bed trying to restore order. I have the yelling pretty well managed as I just remind myself that love is patient and kind. However, the running commentary in my mind is angry and poisonous. I know it is Satan, but how do I keep going without getting so bitter,not to mention terribly exhausted, that my marriage is destroyed?

    [Reply]

  3. Angie says

    I needed to read this! I’m so glad I did I’m a mother of 3 kids and a wife. We are on the go all the time with extracurricular and travel sports. I feel as if my head is spinning most days. I need prayer as I feel sometimes there isn’t enough of me to go around:(

    [Reply]

  4. Anais says

    This is definitely something I need to work on and God has already started. My marriage is falling apart and the end seems so near, but I don’t want that to happen. I’m praying to God that He can restore us.

    [Reply]

  5. P says

    Thank you for your ministry. I’m so glad the Lord led me to this tonight…..I feel I need it desperately….. My husband is the one with the harsh, angry tongue. Please pray for us.

    [Reply]

  6. chichay says

    wow, i am so glad for taking the time to read this, its like describing my present situation. currently, i am in this dilemna esp now with two grown girls and with a husband whom i feel distant with. everyteime i open mouth comes spiteful and angry words that i regret immediately. i am trying my best to change and asks for God’s guidance in helping me become a good and loving mother and wife. please pray for me.

    [Reply]

    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @chichay, I’m lifting you up in my prayers. For me it started with realizing I didn’t want to be the kind of wife and mom I was being so you’re on the right track. Trust in the Lord!

    [Reply]

  7. Thelma Bukuta says

    This devotion is helping me so much to be a provebs 31 woman.I want to serve the Lord with my household.I would love to receive more devotions via email.Thank yu.God bless yu.

    [Reply]

    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Thelma Bukuta, that’s amazing to know what I share is helping women. Are you on my mailing list? You can sign up by entering your email in the box on my sidebar.

    [Reply]

  8. Gina Williams says

    Your blog sounds exactly like I’m the one doing the talking. My husband and I are coming out of the hardest time of our marriage of 14 years and I am learning a whole new way to communicate and love him and my two boys. I have felt myself slipping back into the attitude and feelings of bitterness. I have let my emotions take over again and I don’t ever want to go back to being trapped by them the way I was before. God moved in our relationship and I don’t think He brought us this far to leave us or for me to think I have the right to act the way I have been. Please pray for me and our marriage. God has been and is moving I just don’t want to be a hindrance to what he wants to do.

    [Reply]

    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Gina Williams, congratulations on the work you’ve done to loose yourself from destructive communication and character patterns. Be watchful, because the enemy always wants to pull us back into bondage, but whom Son of God set free, is free indeed.

    [Reply]

  9. Jenni says

    Thank you for this! I am struggling with this as we speak and my family is suffering because of it. Help me in prayer so that I can be better wife and mom without yelling all the time.

    [Reply]

  10. says

    Wow. You are a inspiration thank you so much for writing this this is exactly what I needed to read. Please pray for me I am a mother of four amazing boys, 3yr old twins, 8yr old, 13yr old. And I have a wonderful fiance which we are going on 7 years now. I am very stressed right now going through court issues, and the fact that me and my fiance are living in a home together unmarried. Which we plan on getting married here in the next year butt that has been for the past two years he has been saying it and I believe that our home and relationship would be different if we were married and not sinning every day I am unable to work right now a at my job because I have a hurt wrist in the hurt leg and I am the only one working in our family as of right now so we are in financially going down, my fiance is going to school to become an addictions counselor, and from all this all my stress I am constantly screaming all the time or yelling or just upset and not happy. I feel like I can’t not get a break from laundry or household chores. My kids have lost respect for me my fiance has lost respect for me it’s hurting my heart and I know my actions and my words are hurting my family please pray for me and again thank you for writing this and I will be downloading your help form .
    Sherri´s last blog post ..Prepping Our Hearts to Patiently Parent

    [Reply]

    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Sherri, I am praying with you!

    [Reply]

  11. Tamra says

    Thank you for this post, but more importantly thank God he led me here. This year has been hard on me and I can’t seem to break the cycle of yelling at my kids got everything. I pray in the morning and hope for a good day, and almost everyday I go to bed so upset at me for the responses and actions I have with my three beautiful kids. I see the effect it has on them, and it breaks my heart. I know change needs to happen. I’ve been much more aware of what shouldn’t happen, but it is only after the fact. Defeat enters my mind, and I so just want to be a true light and reflection of God to my kids, my husband and everyone I come in contact with. So thank you for helping reaffirm I’m not alone, and to not lose faith that God isn’t done with me yet.

    [Reply]

  12. wendy Sanders says

    Hi my marriage is on brink of divorce and I want to be able to pull it back together! My children are hurting also and most of it is because of me! And my husband he has reminded me many many times that I need to change how I talk to the kids and him. And right now I’m willing to do whatever it takes to save my family from all this pain and suffering please help! Right now I’m in need of a million prayers to be able to save my family! I love this article and will take in prospective!

    [Reply]

    Loretta Reply:

    @wendy Sanders,
    Wendy, I will pray for you and your family. I am here to encourage you to put forth as much effort as possible to save your marriage. I went through a divorce in 2014 and it was a huge mistake! Our now 10 year old son is paying the price as well. We all hurt. Long story short, I moved on too quickly, got pregnant, got remarried (because I thought it was the right thing to do) only to now be living in regret. My now ex had cheated on me numerous times. I was convinced by so many (yes, even Christians) how terribly wrong that was so I pursued the divorce. If I could go back and undo the last two years, I’d choose to save my marriage. God is there, and so is the devil. It’s very difficult to decipher who’s who at times, but God will see you through. Contact me if you’d like…I will help in any way I can. I’m praying for peace and strength to get you and your family through this. In His love, Loretta

    [Reply]

  13. Erica says

    My husband cheated on me. It’s been years. I feel hate. Anger. Venom. I don’t want to take it out on my girls. They are great kids. Yes they bicker but I feel they are different people they won’t always get along. However I get angry. And little things like my 5 yr old singing on repeat will set me off. It’s not fair. Please pray for me and my family. Thank you!

    [Reply]

  14. says

    I was relieved to come across this and read it I don’t feel so alone anymore. My 7 year old son and I are constantly yelling at each other n he has become defiant and disrespectful n I know it is because the tone in my voice and my constant yelling we can not seem to catch a break. I get irritated really easy and that triggered his bad behavior then my irritation n yelling escalates. We need help

    [Reply]

    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    Hi @taylor, I’m so happy you found this post. You aren’t alone. It’s hard being a mommy. We have a huge responsibility to raise godly children and be godly ourselves. I pray you’ll begin working on fixing the things that set you off and the relationship with your son will probably improve. Once I realized the root of my frustration and the tools God provided to help me heal, I became a more calmer women, wife and mom. If you get a chance, I highly recommend working through my ebook Remove From Me tho Venomous Tongue. God can help you become the mom you want to be for your son.

    [Reply]

  15. Casey says

    My marriage is falling apart. My husband was my best friend and now we act like we hate eachother. We barely speak, and when we do it is not the communication you would expect from a husband and wife. It is more like roommates. My kids are always fighting with eachother and I know it is learned behavior. There are often times that I don’t even want to be home. It geels so tense and chaotic. I hate screaming, and I don’t even know this monster I have become. This is not the life I pictured for us. I’m miserable and I need help.

    [Reply]

    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Casey, I’m praying for you sweet friend.

    [Reply]

  16. Gladys says

    My marriage has been in a terrible season for the last 2 years. I know God has been telling me about my mouth bc I get mad sometimes about where we are and I completely lose it. Im tired of it. After and argument I don’t deel any better and if anything I believe it just pushes us further apart. He is thinking of divorce. My kids tell me “mom I hear u u don’t have to yell” it’s heart breaking, I work on it but it’s short lived. God has worked on me to control my tongue at work and submit to authority but at home it’s totally differnt if I feel offended or something. Help!!!

    [Reply]

  17. says

    My marriage is falling apart and I don’t know how to not damage my children. It seems there is no solution for us.

    [Reply]

    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Sandra, I highly recommend grabbing a copy of my ebook. It works!! It’s all Bible based and includes the total family healing. Praying for you. Be Blessed!!

    [Reply]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge