How to Break the Habit of Yelling

How to Break the Habit of Yelling

For verily I say unto you, that whosoever shall say unto this mountain, ‘Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea,’ and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass, he shall have whatsoever he saith.                                                                                        Mark 11:23

There is no overnight strategy out there that will show you how to break the habit of yelling. It took me three years to break the hold the habit had on me. I consistently yelled when angry or frustrated even when my husband and I were dating. This went on up until shortly after my fourth child was in elementary. It was normal to me.

But it made me feel like scum when I’d see what it was doing to my family. I’d made up in my mind that didn’t want to be her anymore, that mom wife and mom who yelled. The one who was always out for control. I needed to know why I was so easily agitated.

God took me on a journey that changed my life. I share how I went from being an unhappy wife and mom to being so full of peace.

I don’t mind sharing my story with you because at the end of the day I want you to understand you aren’t alone. Plenty of women struggle in this area even if they never tell you.

One of the strategies for healing is transparency. Being transparent about my struggle took away the pride and shame associated with the way I handled frustration.Guard my Tongue Prayer

The devil would love for us to cower in shame or hide behind pride. He wants us to justify our actions or feel so ashamed that we don’t let people help.

My biggest support in the process has been my husband and children. When I confessed my struggle and talked to them about my plan for becoming more like the wife and mom I read about in the Bible, they were supportive through the process.

If nothing else, I want you to know that I’m here for you and I support you. I know what it’s like to go completely bizerk on your kids for doing something childish and then feel guilty about it. I know what it’s like to argue with your husband and say things that push you farther and farther apart.

Many of you have emailed me and commented about wanting to change. Just know that I’m praying for you and that you can break the cycle of destructive communication.

It’s not too late and your story isn’t over until God says it’s over. Please know that he can restore what you’ve broken in your marriage and with your children.

I don’t know who needed to read this today, but I pray it’s given you the hope necessary to take steps to change and begin the healing process for your family.

 

PIN THIS” to your inspirational board using the pin button above if you are on my site and below if you are reading this in an email or RSS reader.

Comments

  1. says

    I can’t believe how the timing cannot be any more precise than now for me to come upon your page! My husband and I are at the beginning of the end in our marriage and he plans on moving out in a week and I just cannot bare to see him go. I know as a follower in Christ I am to let go and let God and just pray he comes to an understanding and that Gods will be done. However I also know that I need to work and pray for myself as well. I haven’t been the perfect supportive wife I should have been. I have trouble communicating and opening up without arguing because we both have such different perspectives that we clash. All I know to do is pray and give my all to God. My husband is saying that he isn’t willing to try anything and this is it he’s done. I don’t believe it and I know he still loves me he’s just afraid of being hurt again. I don’t know how else to show him it won’t be the same. Do you have any advice for me as a wife.

    [Reply]

    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    Hi @Kriste Gilbert! I recommend working through Remove From Me This Venomous Tongue. The Biblical principles needed to bring your anger and communication under subjection are laid out in that workbook. LINK: http://aproverbswife.com/2013/04/instant-download-remove-from-me-this-venomous-tongue-how-to-stop-destroying-your-family-with-your-words.html I also suggest, partnering with a local married couple who have a Christ centered marriage. Ask them to be your accountability partner and to guide you and your husband through this time of difficulty.

    [Reply]

    Susan Hinkle Reply:

    @Kriste Gilbert, Don’t give up! God can fix any marriage that is given to Him! When I became born again it upset my marriage tremendously because my husband was a non believer and I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. God removed me from the marriage. During this time my husband was moving on. He even had an attorney, a roommate and a new girlfriend. But let me tell you in that 60 days we were apart God worked miracles and put us back together. It’s been 7 years now and we are still together. My husband has yet to come into the fold but he’s definitely on his way to believing in God. Don’t quit! God hates divorce and He doesn’t want your marriage torn apart. That lie comes from the devil. Put God first and let Him work in your marriage. He can’t fix something we won’t give to Him. God Bless you! When He’s done with your marriage you’ll have a beautiful testimony to share with others.

    [Reply]

  2. says

    I don’t know how I even stumbled upon your FB page. But I know the LORD lead me here for a reason. I struggle with this… My heart breaks with shame and sadness after I realized the words I have said to my husband and children. I feel overwhelmed and out of control.

    [Reply]

    A Proverbs Wife Reply:

    @Celeste S., I have been there sweet friend and nothing heeled me more than surrender to the holy spirit and to God operating on my heart. I still get upset from time to time like any human being, but I’m no longer out of control. I decide when to raise my voice or speak sternly to my children. I never thought I could get there. You can too. I share everything I did and know about what God says about conquering the tongue in my ebook. I am praying for the bondage to be broken in your life. It’s time to be free from this. In the name of Jesus.

    [Reply]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *