I’m speaking at my church at our Saturday night church service giving a message for the Mothers. I’ve changed my topic four times since Monday and feel like I’ll end up talking from my heart. I would love for God to just make it so that I don’t come off sounding inexperienced. No matter what I say I’ll probably feel like I could have done better, since I’m my worst critique, but I know God has prepared me for this.
It’s hard to comprehend how God could have prepared me for something yet I still feel a tinge of inadequacy. The hard part is knowing how inadequate I am and still mustering up the courage to share my story with people.
We are now moving into week two and evaluating things that trigger agitation and bad attitudes in our marriage and parenting. One of my triggers is lack of rest and because I like ‘doing stuff’ I can easily get caught up in busy work.
When I’m not intentional about my tasks I can get sucked in to ‘doing stuff’ to make myself feel like I’ve accomplished something productive.
In my marriage speaking, motivated by love has been the difference between an argument and a solution. Speaking from a position of love rather than knowledge has been the difference between building my marriage up and tearing it down. I’m a know-it-all by nature, but unchecked it can lead to saying things that are true but don’t need to be said. Speaking what I know and speaking from a position of love are two different things.
When dealing with our husbands on issues, being knowledgeable on a subject plus being angry can lead to having the wrong attitude in a conversation. Knowledge mixed with anger can lead us to speak in a condescending tone. If our goal in conversations with our spouse is to win the argument, being more informed about the topic can lead us to being pompous, prideful, arrogant, overbearing and selfish. In Christian marriage, our motive in conversations with our spouses should never be to win an argument.
Today I turn 38 years old and woke up happy as always. I love mornings. I get excited when I wake up and see daylight. I feel like God just blessed me one more time. I wake up believing I’m still here because God has a job for me, so I get excited not wanting to waste the day.
That has kinda‘ hurt me while I’ve been sick with bronchitis. These past two weeks my mind has been saying, “Yes…it’s a new day, let’s get it”, but my body has been saying, “no ma’am, you’re gonna sit this one out”.
It’s been weird for me to rest physically this long, but I’ve had a tremendous amount of time to reflect on my life and purpose.
In the last six months or so of 2014 I stopped having a passion for writing here and started Aprons and Stilletos. I didn’t know at the time what was my problem, but now know I was getting burned out with the confrontation.