When I think about my husband and how much I adore him, I am inspired to be more intentionalthan ever about being available to him physically.
I love him.
No, I really love him and I love being around him. Faults and all.
For that reason I make it my business to be the women he desires and to fulfill his desires.
Now let’s get one thing straight from the outset. I am not telling you how to treat your man. What you do with yours is your business.
What I am doing is giving you a glimpse at why I esteem mine and I want to share the great benefits that can come from building up your man.
Is my husband the most wonderful and perfect man in the world who never does anything wrong?
Is he the kind of man that never gets on my nerves?
Has he never hurt my feeling and crushed my spirit knowingly and unknowingly with his words or actions?
Of course he has.
But you know what?
I love him.
And I adore him.
But I love God even more so instead of holding my husband’s faults against him, I turn them over to God and allow Him to deal with my husband. I have seen my husband reap rebuke from God on my behalf which is why I don’t hold on to grudges against him.
Knowing that my husband has to answer to God makes it easier for me to overlook his faults. (Tweet This)
At the end of the day my husband is my soulmate and I would do anything for him that I can to meet his needs.
I am my husbands help meet and the only one he can lawfully lust after without offending God. (Tweet This)
Did you hear what I just said? I am the only woman that he can desire without offending God.
Of all the women on earth I am the one my husband has vowed to love, cherish, desire, provide for, protect and constrain his sexual desire for.
He is at my mercy for physical intimacy. That means he has decided to withhold his desire toward any women but me because of His love for the Lord.
For that reason I do my best to say ‘YES’ instead of ‘NO’ to his advances.
When he needs to be intimate, I’m not saying ‘NO’ if I can help it.
Several years ago, I locked my mind into what I’ll call call the ‘YES’ gear. Once I told my mind what we were doing, my body began to follow.
I intentionally began laying aside some responsibilities so that I would have energy for him.
I became more intentional about keeping myself physically fit and nicely dressed.
I made a point to wear perfume and make up that he liked.
I became mindful about what I wore when lounging around the house and at bedtime.
I made an intentional decision to wear only the best for him and went as far as donating all of my frumpy sweats and t-shirts to Goodwill.
At the end of the day I am a Christian first and my husbands wife second. Everything else takes a backseat to those first two priorities. (Tweet This)
I am the only wife he will ever have and I refuse to be the cause if him ever regretting his decision to spend the rest of his life with me.
I believe that because of my hearts desire to please him any way I can he trusts me with his heart.
He is confident that I am here to build him up and not tear him down. For this reason there is nothing that he won’t do for me within the confines of Gods will.
My husband adores me because he knows that I am willing to put aside what would makes me comfortable to often make him comfortable. In return, he does the same for me.
It’s become almost like a game of who can love the other more. And what I love about this game is that we both end up the winners.
Again, please don’t think I’m telling you what you need to do in your marriage, because I’m not.
I don’t give advice. I just live my life in a way that moves me closer to God, closer to my husband and closer to my kids. If anything I do encourages others to do the same, so be it.
At the end of the day my goal in sharing this is to give you a glimpse into a portion of how Proverbs 31:10-13 is lived out in my home.
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
35 thoughts on “How I Became The Woman of My Husbands Dreams”
After 8 years of marriage and 3 young children in the home, it is so easy to give up on looking good for my husband. I’m a stay at home mom and I let taking care of myself fall to the back of everything. Because of that I rarely look my best unless we are going out or to church on Sundays. I really need to focus more on my hubby and take better care of myself for him and let all the little things I get caught up on take the back seat. The kids will always be taken care of (that’s a give) but the dishes, laundry, etc. doesn’t have to get done before I take a little walk or wash my face and put a little make-up on and something other than my ‘yoga’ pants and t-shirt!
I heard this concept from a pastor about a year before I got married and now I’ve completely let it slip by me.
@Aimee Jenkins, I’m so glad you received the message of this post and are inspired to do something different. No good husband will require his wife to look amazing every second of the day but I it’s important that we remember how attracted they are to us as women. I know you’ll grab hold of this message this time and make it a priority in your marriage.
Thank you for this post. I loved this post. I loved it so much, I shared it with my friends on Facebook, as well as had my husband read it. My husband and I have been married 10 years and he tells me quite often that I am the woman of his dreams, but I want to continue to be that woman and this has inspired me to continue to put God first in my life and my husband and his needs second, then my children and so on….I love the fact that the things YOU do are backed up by scriptures in the bible and WOW, it IS incredibly easy to over look his faults knowing that he has to answer to God. And by overlooking my husbands faults, I am able to stay focused on pleasing him, physically and in every way possible, so that I may do what God wants me to do, and what my goal is, which is become that virtuous woman…..Again, thank you for your inspiring wisdom…..
Ok, sure. I did all of these things for years and my husband still cheated on me. Never be so prideful or naive as to think that you can affair proof your marriage. Even Christian husbands have serious issues even if they have a woman doing all she can do to be a perfect wife. After that, I kind of get sick of it all.
@Ashlee, “affair proof your marriage” and “perfect wife” are your words. I don’t think I can affair proof my marriage and that’s not what this post is about. It’s about making a decision to treat your husband the best you can. The choices he makes are his to make.
Ok, sure. I did this for years and my husband still cheated on me. Christian men have issues, too. Never be so prideful or naive as to think that you can affair proof your marriage by being a perfect wife.
@Ashlee, “affair proof your marriage” and “perfect wife” are your words. I don’t think I can affair proof my marriage and that’s not what this post is about. It’s about making a decision to treat your husband the best you can. The choices he makes are his to make.
OMG I just had this discussion with a friend about how after 11yrs of marriage I forgot how to impress my hubby even when he is away for training! Thanks for reminding me this message came at the right time!
This was just awesome! It blew me away… what great ideas! What a wonderful way to live life. I feel a bit guilty now… I have a lot of work to do! My husband has always been awesome! Not perfect…. close…. but awesome. I want him to have this! Thanks for sharing!
@Loretta, Guilt is just conviction. It’s the Holy Spirit of God in us telling us we can be and do better. I’m glad this has motivated you to do and be better Loretta.
I am not married yet but God is present in my relationship with my boyfriend now. I turn to Him in the good times and the not so good, for guidance, thanksgiving and for the extra patience I tend to need more of from time to time. I love that, “Knowing that my husband has to answer to God makes it easier for me to overlook his faults.” I believe I am already working on that, so one thing down and a ton more to get done until we’re on the “official” path towards matrimony. Thanks for this post!
I enjoyed this post. As a single girl I hope to someday experience this type of partnership and commitment. I hope to keep in mind many of your practices (not advice 🙂 when that time comes for me.
Thanks for the advice! I had such a negative experience being married that I cam to think of it as a four letter word. Thank you for giving me some hope.
@Rachee,
Aww…I’m so sorry you had a negative experience Rachee. At one point my marriage was going south and that’s when I realized I wasn’t honoring God by being the best wife I could be. I really had to get my act together. I pray you’ll get a new chance at love with a man who honors God and treat you like a queen 😀
This >> “I am the only woman that he can desire without offending God.”>> is such a wonderful way to look at your role as a wife and I’ve never quite thought about it in those terms. Thank you for this.
Oh, this article is going to be on the top of my “When I Say Yes” file! This is great advice for those of us who are on the road to matrimony but not quite there, yet. Once we do get there, this shows us, that the work REALLY begins. Great post!
Thanks Brandi and congrats on your relationship with your boo-boo. I was stalking your blog today. 😉 I pray that’s he’s the man that God designed for you and your daughter.
I mean hey… we are human so we can’t be perfect but I think women should give it a try to look good more than they look bad. You are super cute in your avatar picture so I’m sure you have a great frumpy & fab balance going on. 🙂
I always look forward to your posts and today’s really hit home. I love my husband and always look for ways to demonstrate it more. I always want to look pleasing to my husbands eyes. Today’s post has definitely inspired me to reverence my husband even more. Please stay encouraged and continue to post.
I always look forward to your posts…but today’s really hit home.. I love my husband as well and I always looks for other ways to demonstrate my love for him and today’s post defiitl inspired me to reverence my husband more. Please stay encourage and continue to post
That’s beautiful!!!! Inspires me to continue learning more to reverence my husband:) and you’re so right on about keeping ourselves looking pleasing to our husband’s eyes. It’s so important!
I’m so gad that you ‘get it’ Cassandra. Some women want to debate the issue when I shared this in other forums and my thing is this. Why wouldn’t you want to look good for your man? I mean c’mon. Who doesn’t want to get dressed up?
I’d be more concerned about that. When someone doesn’t even feel like their husband deserves that, then the problems are bigger than just clothes and appearance.
I’m just saying let’s not let unresolved disappointment and bitterness be the cause of an unhappy marriage. Life is too short to be bitter with my husband. <3
God used you in a mighty way this morning. Although I have seen God move on my behalf, I still find myself holding back from being the wife I should be. It’s time for me to let go of the past and move into a season of forgiveness and newness. How can I possibly expect God to move in our marriage if I am not doing all that he says I should. Thank you for sharing your life and being willing to let God use it to remind wife’s like me that it’s time to make a change.
I love what you said Stephanie, “How can I possibly expect God to move in our marriage if I am not doing all that he says I should.” Godly marriage is a daily if not moment by moment choices each of must can make to bring it closer to God or further away from Him. I’m choosing to move mine closer to the throne and it sounds like you are too.
Hello. I love the name of your site and the content included in your site. Although I am not married yet I one day hope to become that Proverbs 31 woman for my future husband. Great post!
This is my first visit to the site. I also watched your Frumpy to Fab video. As a woman who has been happily married for 22+ years,and whose favorite scripture is Proverbs 31, I am so glad I stopped by.
When I think about my husband and how much I adore him, I am inspired to be more intentional than ever about being available to him physically.
After 8 years of marriage and 3 young children in the home, it is so easy to give up on looking good for my husband. I’m a stay at home mom and I let taking care of myself fall to the back of everything. Because of that I rarely look my best unless we are going out or to church on Sundays. I really need to focus more on my hubby and take better care of myself for him and let all the little things I get caught up on take the back seat. The kids will always be taken care of (that’s a give) but the dishes, laundry, etc. doesn’t have to get done before I take a little walk or wash my face and put a little make-up on and something other than my ‘yoga’ pants and t-shirt!
I heard this concept from a pastor about a year before I got married and now I’ve completely let it slip by me.
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The Proverbs Wife Reply:
September 5th, 2013 at
@Aimee Jenkins, I’m so glad you received the message of this post and are inspired to do something different. No good husband will require his wife to look amazing every second of the day but I it’s important that we remember how attracted they are to us as women. I know you’ll grab hold of this message this time and make it a priority in your marriage.
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This was everything. Thank you so much for sharing!
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This was everything! Thank you for sharing!
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Thank you for this post. I loved this post. I loved it so much, I shared it with my friends on Facebook, as well as had my husband read it. My husband and I have been married 10 years and he tells me quite often that I am the woman of his dreams, but I want to continue to be that woman and this has inspired me to continue to put God first in my life and my husband and his needs second, then my children and so on….I love the fact that the things YOU do are backed up by scriptures in the bible and WOW, it IS incredibly easy to over look his faults knowing that he has to answer to God. And by overlooking my husbands faults, I am able to stay focused on pleasing him, physically and in every way possible, so that I may do what God wants me to do, and what my goal is, which is become that virtuous woman…..Again, thank you for your inspiring wisdom…..
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The Proverbs Wife Reply:
June 22nd, 2013 at
@Sheila, I’m so glad this post inspired you the way it did!!
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Ok, sure. I did all of these things for years and my husband still cheated on me. Never be so prideful or naive as to think that you can affair proof your marriage. Even Christian husbands have serious issues even if they have a woman doing all she can do to be a perfect wife. After that, I kind of get sick of it all.
[Reply]
The Proverbs Wife Reply:
June 14th, 2013 at
@Ashlee, “affair proof your marriage” and “perfect wife” are your words. I don’t think I can affair proof my marriage and that’s not what this post is about. It’s about making a decision to treat your husband the best you can. The choices he makes are his to make.
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Ok, sure. I did this for years and my husband still cheated on me. Christian men have issues, too. Never be so prideful or naive as to think that you can affair proof your marriage by being a perfect wife.
[Reply]
The Proverbs Wife Reply:
June 14th, 2013 at
@Ashlee, “affair proof your marriage” and “perfect wife” are your words. I don’t think I can affair proof my marriage and that’s not what this post is about. It’s about making a decision to treat your husband the best you can. The choices he makes are his to make.
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OMG I just had this discussion with a friend about how after 11yrs of marriage I forgot how to impress my hubby even when he is away for training! Thanks for reminding me this message came at the right time!
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This was just awesome! It blew me away… what great ideas! What a wonderful way to live life. I feel a bit guilty now… I have a lot of work to do! My husband has always been awesome! Not perfect…. close…. but awesome. I want him to have this! Thanks for sharing!
[Reply]
The Proverbs Wife Reply:
January 7th, 2013 at
@Loretta, Guilt is just conviction. It’s the Holy Spirit of God in us telling us we can be and do better. I’m glad this has motivated you to do and be better Loretta.
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I am not married yet but God is present in my relationship with my boyfriend now. I turn to Him in the good times and the not so good, for guidance, thanksgiving and for the extra patience I tend to need more of from time to time. I love that, “Knowing that my husband has to answer to God makes it easier for me to overlook his faults.” I believe I am already working on that, so one thing down and a ton more to get done until we’re on the “official” path towards matrimony. Thanks for this post!
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The Proverbs Wife Reply:
October 13th, 2012 at
@DjRelAt7,
So glad you get it.
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I enjoyed this post. As a single girl I hope to someday experience this type of partnership and commitment. I hope to keep in mind many of your practices (not advice 🙂 when that time comes for me.
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Thanks for the advice! I had such a negative experience being married that I cam to think of it as a four letter word. Thank you for giving me some hope.
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The Proverbs Wife Reply:
October 10th, 2012 at
@Rachee,
Aww…I’m so sorry you had a negative experience Rachee. At one point my marriage was going south and that’s when I realized I wasn’t honoring God by being the best wife I could be. I really had to get my act together. I pray you’ll get a new chance at love with a man who honors God and treat you like a queen 😀
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This >> “I am the only woman that he can desire without offending God.”>> is such a wonderful way to look at your role as a wife and I’ve never quite thought about it in those terms. Thank you for this.
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The Proverbs Wife Reply:
October 10th, 2012 at
@Aja,
That role is so special too me. I’m so glad my husband cherishes it too. Thanks for visiting Aja 😀
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Oh, this article is going to be on the top of my “When I Say Yes” file! This is great advice for those of us who are on the road to matrimony but not quite there, yet. Once we do get there, this shows us, that the work REALLY begins. Great post!
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The Proverbs Wife Reply:
October 10th, 2012 at
@Brandi,
Thanks Brandi and congrats on your relationship with your boo-boo. I was stalking your blog today. 😉 I pray that’s he’s the man that God designed for you and your daughter.
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I seriously am an offender of looking straight busted on the weekends. I should probably hook myself up a little bit better…
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The Proverbs Wife Reply:
October 10th, 2012 at
@Karla T.,
I mean hey… we are human so we can’t be perfect but I think women should give it a try to look good more than they look bad. You are super cute in your avatar picture so I’m sure you have a great frumpy & fab balance going on. 🙂
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I always look forward to your posts and today’s really hit home. I love my husband and always look for ways to demonstrate it more. I always want to look pleasing to my husbands eyes. Today’s post has definitely inspired me to reverence my husband even more. Please stay encouraged and continue to post.
[Reply]
The Proverbs Wife Reply:
October 10th, 2012 at
@Kangelia,
Hey Kangelia <3 I always enjoy reading your comments.
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I always look forward to your posts…but today’s really hit home.. I love my husband as well and I always looks for other ways to demonstrate my love for him and today’s post defiitl inspired me to reverence my husband more. Please stay encourage and continue to post
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That’s beautiful!!!! Inspires me to continue learning more to reverence my husband:) and you’re so right on about keeping ourselves looking pleasing to our husband’s eyes. It’s so important!
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The Proverbs Wife Reply:
October 6th, 2012 at
@Cassandra Salamone,
I’m so gad that you ‘get it’ Cassandra. Some women want to debate the issue when I shared this in other forums and my thing is this. Why wouldn’t you want to look good for your man? I mean c’mon. Who doesn’t want to get dressed up?
I’d be more concerned about that. When someone doesn’t even feel like their husband deserves that, then the problems are bigger than just clothes and appearance.
I’m just saying let’s not let unresolved disappointment and bitterness be the cause of an unhappy marriage. Life is too short to be bitter with my husband. <3
Thanks for commenting sweetie.
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God used you in a mighty way this morning. Although I have seen God move on my behalf, I still find myself holding back from being the wife I should be. It’s time for me to let go of the past and move into a season of forgiveness and newness. How can I possibly expect God to move in our marriage if I am not doing all that he says I should. Thank you for sharing your life and being willing to let God use it to remind wife’s like me that it’s time to make a change.
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The Proverbs Wife Reply:
October 6th, 2012 at
@Stephanie,
I love what you said Stephanie, “How can I possibly expect God to move in our marriage if I am not doing all that he says I should.” Godly marriage is a daily if not moment by moment choices each of must can make to bring it closer to God or further away from Him. I’m choosing to move mine closer to the throne and it sounds like you are too.
Be Blessed <3
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Hello. I love the name of your site and the content included in your site. Although I am not married yet I one day hope to become that Proverbs 31 woman for my future husband. Great post!
-coming from a Shades of Social Media member 🙂
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The Proverbs Wife Reply:
October 4th, 2012 at
Thanks for stopping by and checking out my site Shelda. 🙂
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This is my first visit to the site. I also watched your Frumpy to Fab video. As a woman who has been happily married for 22+ years,and whose favorite scripture is Proverbs 31, I am so glad I stopped by.
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The Proverbs Wife Reply:
October 4th, 2012 at
@Janeane Davis,
Thanks Janeane. I’m so glad we connected this morning. I’m looking forward to getting to know you better. 🙂
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