I’m almost certain I suffer from a mild case of depression. I don’t think it’s clinical as much as it’s hormonal.
For a few days out of every month, usually when I’m ovulating, I get what I call the blues. Some call it PMS.
During that time, anything that goes wrong becomes a tragedy. Things that wouldn’t normally bother me bring me to the verge of tears.
I normally don’t want to be in public places and prefer to just lay around.
I’ve actively dealt with this at least the last ten years and while I feel like I have a good handle on the situation I hate going through it.
I truly wish God would just take this away from me but until He does or until I figure out how to overcome it I do the following.
1. As soon as I realize I have the blues, I talk to my husband about it because not only do I get the blues, I tend to get grumpy too. He is so gracious and patient with me. He allows me about two days of pardon because when I’m down I’m also agitated and easily offended.
Things that don’t normally bother me…bother me, but he doesn’t get on my case. Instead he’s long suffering and patiently endures my temporary break from sanity.
Communicating to Germaine where I am emotionally rather than keeping it bottled up or trying to deal with it on my own helps strengthen our marriage. For married Christians, if something is affecting one spouse it’s affecting the other as well if we are to be “one” like it says in the Genesis.
2. Another thing I do is read my Bible more even though it often makes me “feel” sadder. When I have the blues I also feel like God is far away from me but in reality I know he’s not.
I remind myself that my relationship with God is not based on emotion but on truth. A few of the truths I cling to are found in Isaiah 42:16, Duetoronomy 31:6, Psalm 94:14, Psalm 145:18. All of these verses remind me of Gods promise to never abandon me especially when I need Him the most.
3. I also give myself permission to spend the day doing what would on a normal day bring me joy. That could be redecorating a room, going shopping, vegging out on Netflix or staying in bed all day. I call this taking care of “me”.
I’m not a selfish person when it comes to my family. I am willing to do anything within reason to meet their needs, however when I have no joy I must take time to concentrate on recalibrating. I’ve been doing this wife and mom thing a long time and know that I’m no good to anybody when I can’t find my joy.
Everyones family dynamic, marriage and home life is different. You may not be at a point where it’s possible to pull back from your day-to-day responsibilities but ultimately you have to create a plan of action to deal with it.
Ever since Germaine and I sat down and discovered I was moody during ovulation we began doing things differently during those days of the month. Initially it appeared I just had a bad attitude, but we didn’t want to just chalk it up as that.
We weren’t willing to just accept that. We prayed, became more discerning and asked God for wisdom. What I’ve shared with you today is how God has provided us solutions. He’s shown us the source my blues, provided us a remedy and helped us grow closer together despite our human frailties.
Something that could have destroyed our marriage bond actually made it stronger and that’s something that fills me with JOY!!
Can you remember something that seemed like it would destroy your marriage but in the end drew you closer together?
2 thoughts on “What Do You Do When Your Joy Is Gone?”
Hi my sister I think I can relate to ur challenges, but mine is my son, as I speak he gone with d wind and using ds opportunity to ask God to change and strenghthen me so I can help him. Ds is the only way my sister, I think by the look of worldly eye d situation looks hopeless but with spiritual eye there is hope. God is their creator n their father and He is the only one to change them. Let us not give up on God. Amen
I have a two-fold reply to this.
First, I suffer from major depressive disorder as well as generalized anxiety disorder and social anxiety. What you described as your PMS “blues” is my life 24/7, despite the meds I’m on that keep me stable. I’m lucky to be able to get up and go to work every day as well as going to school online. Every day is a struggle for me. It is my faith & stubborness that keeps me from giving up.
Second, we did go through a terrible time a couple of years ago. My husband is a recovering drug addict & alcoholic. He relapsed 3 times with his drug use since we’ve been together. This last time should have ended it all because this time both our families were involved. My husband would disappear without a word, clean out our bank account then come home because there would be no money left. Despite the broken trust, betrayal and anguish I have endured, this last time made me realize how much I do love my husband & want to strive to have a better marriage. Things are getting there slowly but surely. God is working on changing me & using me as a model for my family.