Ever since I was a little girl I dreamed I’d be married, with a home, career and kids. In my daydreams there was no conflict between marriage, home, career and parenting.
In my dreams everything flowed together effortlessly for the most part and I was happily married. As I got older, I realized marriages don’t always work out, families don’t always stay together, husbands and wives don’t give their all and kids sometimes fall through the cracks.
This is not what I wanted for my family and it wasn’t what I was willing to except. After being married for six or so years, I felt like we were going in the wrong direction. We weren’t growing closer together…
..and we weren’t happy. After six years of marriage my husband and I decided (not together and not even at the same time) that we didn’t want to spend the rest of our marriage unhappy.
You can read through the countless articles I’ve written about giving up my own agenda for the agenda of my marriage and taking taking control of my mouth. These changes were extremely important to me because having the marriage I dreamed about was important to me.
I don’t know what kind of marriage you envisioned, but are you living it?
I wanted my dream marriage to be a reality so I put in the work. I changed those things about myself that didn’t match what the Bible describes as a Godly women.
Truth be told, I stopped taking into consideration what unsaved people had to say about marriage. If they were not living to line their lives up with Gods word, I stopped using their opinions as a standard for my marriage. Whether friends, television shows, self-help books and family.
When I began setting up boundaries regarding who I was listening too on the subject of marriage, I was better able to hear what God had to say. What God had to say was vastly different from what I’d been listening to. Even church going people who meant well told me things about how my husband is supposed to treat me, or what he should’ve been doing that did not match what the Bible said.
In order to have a God centered, happy marriage, I had to go to the source. I became more intentional about studying the Bible for specific issues such as love, peace, joy, submission, family order, communication and disagreements.
In the last decade I’ve cultivated the marriage I dreamed of. One where I look forward to moments spent with my husband. We both schedule our lives so that we can spend most of our time together. It’s a joy to spend time with him talking about our family, our future and our faith.
No longer do we display happy couple to the world when we know we’re unhappy at home. Now the joy we share is a true outward expression of the sacrificial love we have for one another. We’ve given up a lot of our old ways to become the husband and wife we are today, but what God has given us in exchange has been a far greater reward.
I absolutely want to inspire you to do the work to create the marriage of your dreams. Marriage is designed to be forever and if that’s your goal, why not spend forever happily married?
If you would like to receive prayer, please leave a comment below and we will pray over it. Also, please share your experiences or comments because we are all women of prayer and can encourage one another.